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An insight into British humour?

I heard this one on the radio yesterday and laughed out loud:

Q: What is the difference between an airline pilot and a greengrocer (produce store?)?

A: One flies planes and the other sells vegetables.

The thought process runs something like:

Yeah, so? Thinks to oneself, which brings one back to Yeah, so?

After that, you're on your own folks...

Regards
Mo

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A lot like American humor. Elephant Jokes??

In reply to: An insight into British humour?

.
Did you'll have Elephant Jokes making the rounds at one time in England? One went like this:

Q. What's the difference between an elephant and a grape?
A. One is grey and the other is purple.

Q. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming?
A. She said here come the grapes. She was color blind.

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(NT) Yes, but the input box is nowhere near big enough. Pity - otherwise would have to see you back here in 2005. Regards, Mo.

In reply to: A lot like American humor. Elephant Jokes??

.

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LOL, more British humor? What do you mean the input box isn't ....

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big enough? You mean for an elephant? Happy

How can you tell if you have an elephant in the fridge?

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Oh, go on, I'll play ...

In reply to: LOL, more British humor? What do you mean the input box isn't ....

footprints in the custard/butter.

How do you fit 5 elephants in a mini? (very small car)

Over to you and let's open this up as a free-for-all.

Regards
Mo

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Two in the front, two in the back and one in the glove box.

In reply to: Oh, go on, I'll play ...

.
Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your fridge?

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OK, what has four wheels and flys?

In reply to: Oh, go on, I'll play ...

Very old.

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garbage truck. Most have more than 4 wheels now.(nt)

In reply to: OK, what has four wheels and flys?

.

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OK, how about, 'When the chips are down, ....(?)....'.

In reply to: garbage truck. Most have more than 4 wheels now.(nt)

Used to be my daughter's favorite joke. Very corny.

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the buffalo is empty.

In reply to: OK, how about, 'When the chips are down, ....(?)....'.

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Q: What do you give a seasick elephant?

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Rats! A heave over the side?

In reply to: the buffalo is empty.

Those were my two jokes!

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Re:(NT) One BIG Towel

In reply to: the buffalo is empty.

.

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Or "Lots of room!" --NT

In reply to: Re:(NT) One BIG Towel

.

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Re:Oh, go on, I'll play ...

In reply to: Oh, go on, I'll play ...

Knock, Knock, Who's There?

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Elephants ....

In reply to: Re:Oh, go on, I'll play ...

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Elephants who?

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(NT) Was it you who posted around Xmas that the house was clean because the computer had broken down? Ooops. Regards Mo

In reply to: LOL, more British humor? What do you mean the input box isn't ....

.

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Possibly. Short term memory loss? However,

I usually have at least two fully functioning PCs at all times.

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Re:Possibly. Short term memory loss? However,

In reply to: Possibly. Short term memory loss? However,

Memory loss? Short term, long term, I've got them both. Someone posted a whole list of truisms, of which the broken computer = clean house was one, and I was feeling a bit guilty about sitting posting jokes when I should be ....

OK - back to the jokes. Heard any good ones lately?

Regards
Mo

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British or English?

In reply to: An insight into British humour?

I hope my Scottish forebears didn't think like that! Wink

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Scotsman

In reply to: British or English?

What did the Scotsman say about the difference between the green plaid and the red plaid?

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(NT) Don't know - guess - The green is an older vintage, but it's all good whisky - ? Regards Mo

In reply to: Scotsman

.

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Don't know. What did the Scot do after dropping a nickle down an outhouse hole?

In reply to: Scotsman

From one of my Scottish aunts.

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Re:Don't know. What did the Scot do after dropping a nickle down an outhouse hole?

Peed on it till it was shiny enough to pick out?

Told someone he dropped a diamond down there so they would get it out for him?

Decided it was time to fertilize his field?

Unraveled his kilt to lower a string down to try and fish it out?

Cut another hole on the board so he could have a clean place to reach down and pick it out?

Moved the outhouse over?


The fun part is the guessing!

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No, sorry. He said that He was not going to go down there for no stinking nickel!

So he dropped a quarter!

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Re:Scotsman

In reply to: Scotsman

"Difference?! Where do you see a difference?!" said the colorblind Scotsman.

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A propos colours and Scotsmen ...

In reply to: Re:Scotsman

There were two Scots (or other men) each of which owned a horse. They had to go away and couldn't decide how they would each recognise their own horse on their return. One had the bright idea of cutting the mane of one of the horses. Needless to say, the mane had grown by the time the men returned causing great confusion. How did they resolve it? Answer below.


Oh blow it! You take the black one and I'll take the white one.

Regards
Mo

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and what do they wear under the kilt? Anybody know how Mel Gibson

In reply to: A propos colours and Scotsmen ...

answered the question (Tonight Show?) after making Braveheart?

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(NT) Well I know, but I think I'll put this ball in James' court :) Don't know about Mel G though. Mo

In reply to: and what do they wear under the kilt? Anybody know how Mel Gibson

.

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Don't know. Haven't looked. No plan to. (nt)

.

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for those who want to know what Mel said, and are not easily embarrassed.

In reply to: and what do they wear under the kilt? Anybody know how Mel Gibson

His wife's lipstick. I kid you not.

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