When I was young and cowboying full time, an older gentleman told me that I would get old enough to quit cowboying, but I would never be rich enough. I thought on that for a while, decided he was right, and went to doing other things.
And there is the crux of my problem. When I was young I was counseled to leave cowboying to make money, and now that I'm older and retired, I'm told to stay out of the way. With cowboying in my blood, ?.?it's an itch I can't scratch?.
Many years ago a gentleman by the name of Allan Fullmer penned a piece about this conundrum, that I saved. He lived in El Paso, Texas, at the time and was teaching English literature and history. He said he gave up full time cowboying before he married. He offered, "My wife and I have a unique arrangement. I can cowboy in the summer all I want; the rest of the year, I teach school."
I have included it here, hoping others can get an understanding of ?the itch?.
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Even though a cowboy must sometimes give up the job he loves most, he never forgets it.
You have turned your horses out, loaded your gear and all your household goods in the pickup, packed up the wife and kids, and left. You have barely driven out of the gate and you already miss the next day's work. You envy that 20-year old, half-wild kid who has been riding for you. He'll get all your good horses, but won't appreciate the work it took to make them good. However, he'll be at the ropes the next morning. You?ll be in town and your wife will be relieved.
This kind of experience is all too painful to the men out on the ranches who maybe should have quit long ago. Cowboying, like any occupation, has it's turnover, but the men who quit never seem to get the work out of their systems. They get out for many reasons: They are fed up, their wives are fed up, their kids aren't faring well. . . . it's just time to move on. For some it's the end of youth. The last vestiges of their free-roaming days draw to a close when they give notice to the cowboss. This time when they roll their bed, it won't be to move to different ranch, it will be to a different life.
No good marriage is worth a job, and more than a few men have quit because they love their wives more than the cowboy work. Anyone who has ever worked with married cowboys can tell you that some men shouldn't be in the business. They may be the best hands, and only good at cowboying, but their families, especially wives, really suffer. Isolation, long periods of separation, often poor pay and living conditions, and no mental stimulation all wear on cowboy wives.
Many good women have been on the verge of insanity when they are stuck in some isolated, run-down cow camp with the kids, out of money, and a husband gone off on the spring wagon having a good time. No one, absolutely no one, can blame a good woman for being fed up in a situation like this. Men whose wives had had it with the whole lifestyle need to examine their options. It is a tough call that some married cowboys are loathe to make. Undoubtedly it is a tribute to the man, who, while loving the work, rejects the lifestyle that goes with it for the sake of his loved ones.
What men miss is the spontaneity of the work that a town job just can't provide. You started the colt, put the first rides on him; he nearly dumped you a few times, but you got him rode. Now you've got 20 rides on him, he's starting to turn around, to stop nicely, to work a rope in a noisy branding corral. Then on ride 21, for no apparent reason, he drops his head and nearly homesteads you, but the same day you rope a wild cow on him. This is what men miss when they quit. . . . the unpredictability and challenge each day offered. It was what held them to the job in the first place.
Working on the ranch brought a soft, quiet, daily satisfaction, even though the work was not soft. It is hard to believe someone would pay you to have such an enjoyable job. It wasn't all easy, but it was mostly enjoyable and each evening brought anticipation for the tomorrow to come.
Cowboying is like baseball. The pitcher throws a series of balls at a batter. This gets monotonous and the batter doesn't swing for a while, but as the count builds, something must happen. It is inevitable; a hit, a walk, a strike-out, a run, whatever. Then it is a new batter and the monotony of the pitches begins once more.
So goes cowboying. All is sedate and serene----then your horse stumbles or bucks, the herd breaks for the brush, or a cow gets on the fight. The challenge is met and handled, then all becomes slow and quiet again. From monotony to chaos to monotony in less time that it takes to read this sentence. Few town jobs offer that.
However, once you quit, you become everything you loathe about not being a cowboy: baseball cap, work boots, confinement indoors, lunch box, off to some job that stimulates only your pocketbook. Days, swing shifts, graveyard shifts, and the list of dullness goes on. It wasn't so bad when you were cowboyng. You could respect others who had to go off to a mundane job because you didn't, but now there's a difference. Often the town job is on the edge of the ranch country that you used to be horseback in. You run across friends who still draw cowboy wages. They miss you; they miss your skills. You envy them their lifestyle.
Whatever becomes of you, there will always be a feeling of love, longing, or fondness for cowboying, especially if you have pursued it for any length of time. It is an occupation that engulfs you, forever, Forever. The perspective of the man or woman who has been immersed in the trade does not change with the ending of a career. The habits and skills of the cowboy become unrelinquishable. You never truly sever the ties to the work, even if you may not be actively doing the work. It holds you with a long, long rope.
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