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About house cleaning

by Del McMullen / May 6, 2004 10:26 PM PDT

Handy Cleaning Tips

Dirt: Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a
helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun.
Call it an SPF factor of 15 and leave it alone.

Cobwebs: Artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from
the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere.
If someone points out that the light fixtures need dusting,
simply look confused and exclaim "What? And spoil the mood?"
(Or just throw glitter on them & call them holiday decorations.)

Pet Hair: Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the
doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing
hand-sewn play animals for underprivileged children.
(Also keeps out cold drafts in winter.)

Guests: If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly
into one room and close the door. As you show your guests
through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously,
fake a growl and say, "I'd love you to see our den,
but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."

Dusting: If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy
urn on the coffee table and insist that "This is where Grandma wanted
us to scatter her ashes."

General Cleaning: Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner
with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly.
Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations.
Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself on the couch and sigh,
"I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere." As a last
resort, light the oven, throw a teaspoon of cinnamon in a pie
pan, turn off oven and explain that you have been baking cookies for
a bake sale for a favorite charity and haven't had time to clean...

Works every time.

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Re:About house cleaning
by Diana Forum moderator / May 6, 2004 10:55 PM PDT
In reply to: About house cleaning

I figure the dishes are clean, the clothes are clean, everything else is optional. Wink

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Re:About house cleaning
by Mary Kay / May 7, 2004 5:43 AM PDT
In reply to: About house cleaning

I lived with the vacuum cleaner in the living room for years just in case someone dropped in. I was just about to... well you know

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(NT) I thought the living room corner beside the tv was the proper storage for it?
by Roger NC / May 7, 2004 4:24 PM PDT
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Re:(NT) To be brought to the center of the room after a knock or the doorbell rings.


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