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Woman uses digital billboard to dump lover on Valentine's

What sort of woman would hire a digital billboard specifically timed to inform her lover on Valentine's that she had found someone else?

2 min read
This was how Jordan Wilson posted it to his Twitter account. Screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

We have all witnessed cruelty.

Some of us might have even been responsible for it occasionally.

But one can only speculate what on Earth might been going on in the head of a woman called Laura. For she seems to have paid money in order to hire a digital billboard to tell her lover that she had found another.

On Valentine's Day.

As that fine, upstanding British paper the Sun reported, Jordan Wilson noticed the digital billboard at a gas station in Manchester, England and wondered just what had caused such an explosion of cold-hearted cruelty.

He posted it to his Twitter account and from there it rolled across the world like a huge, uncontrollable tear.

The message on the billboard was stark.

It read: "I'm leaving you for Gary. Your clothes are at your mum's & I've changed the locks. Sorry to do this on Valentine's Day. Laura."

I am currently breathing under the supposition that Laura isn't sorry at all. I am also accepting the Sun's supposition that this gas station is where Dan gets his lunch.

Or, as today, gets eaten for lunch.

Because we like to delve into the more difficult parts of the human psyche here, it's somehow hard to identify the roots of Laura's apparent anger.

If Dan had himself not treated her perfectly, surely she must be happier now. She has Gary.

Yet the very fact that she needed to kick Dan in the private life so very publicly suggests a many-layered complexity to their relationship, one that might not be as over as she claims.

Assuming this tale is real, I fancy that, within six months, Laura will spend a little more money to book another digital billboard.

This one will read: "Dan, You're not going to believe this, but Gary and me, well, it didn't work out. He's half the man that you are. A quarter, even. And he's stinky. I've left the front door key inside the petrol station. (That's what they call them over there.) Will you be my slightly late Valentine? Laura."

On the other hand, perhaps Dan really is the most awful specimen of a man that a woman could ever fear to meet.

After all, he has lunch every day at a gas station.