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The best robot vs. Rory McIlroy golf contest you will ever see

The problem with a lot of robots is that few have a highly honed sense of humor. However, one golfing robot trash-talked Rory McIlroy to utter distraction.

Almost the perfect golfing buddy.
European Tour/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

When a man called Jeff asks you to join him for a game of golf, you might agree.

However, when a robot called Jeff wants to accompany you to your local links, you'd better be prepared for losing a couple of links in the chain to your perfect swing and your mental equilibrium.

For Jeff the robot is a trash-talking, joyously mean-spirited golfing robot with a very well-honed swing.

Here, in an ad for the European Tour, he teases two-time major champion Rory McIlroy about his vast new Nike contract, as well as trying to put off his human adversary by remotely moving a target.

Jeff also confesses to his sexual attraction toward certain kinds of washing machines.

Sometimes, it's very hard to find the right golfing partner.

There are those who get boorish on the course, throwing their clubs in various directions after a bad shot.

I once had an otherwise very nice man smash his 8-iron straight into the side of a golf cart (in which I happened to be sitting), after an errant swing.

Worse are golf partners who smoke. The ones who who smoke pot on the course aren't so bad.

Unbearable are the ones who insist on tugging at vast cigars, as if the mixture of ill-fitting red Nike shirts and Cuban tobacco makes them reach some nirvana of superiority.

So for all the fears about a robot world being one in which humans relinquish what's left of themselves, how lovely it would be if we could open our cars in the golf club parking lot and pull out a Jeff.

He'd be a good golfer, know the rules, and always be there with a comment to lighten proceedings.

And, unlike the stogie-chomper or the cursing 8-ironer, if Jeff got on our nerves, we would have the ultimate option. (Watch the end of the video.)