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'Star Wars' product rejects: Far, far away from reality

What do a Darth Vader lava lamp and a Yoda backpack have in common? They're rejected product concepts from a "Star Wars: Episode One, The Phantom Menace" promotion.

rejected "Star Wars" merchandise
There's still time to make these, right?
TIC TOC/Pepsi/Lucasfilm

I knew there was something missing from my life. I just didn't know what it was until I came across ToyOtter's latest list of rejected "Star Wars" merchandise ideas on Action Figure Insider.

I'm missing a Luke Skywalker/Darth Vader salt and pepper shaker set, without which my life will never be complete. How did this product not get made?

Star Wars shakers
Use the Force to flavor your breakfast. (Click to enlarge.) TIC TOC/Pepsi/Lucasfilm

"Let these legends of the kitchen table be a constant reminder of the battle over good and evil in the galaxy," the concept reads. Each morning there could be an epic battle for the very soul of my scrambled eggs.

The shakers aren't the only products I'm pining for. Jason "ToyOtter" Geyer and his former co-workers at a promotional merchandise agency were in charge of coming up with products to tie in with the launch of "Star Wars: Episode One, The Phantom Menace" and a corresponding big Pepsi promo push.

The list of products that never made it into production includes an R2-D2-shaped travel thermos, an R2-D2 portable wet bar, and a marshlands of Naboo fountain display designed to dribble water and smell like the planet's native flora and fauna.

The ideas range from the bizarre (a Darth Vader face door knocker) to the brilliant (a Death Star basketball). Really, who wouldn't want a talking Darth Vader chip clip?

I could see some of these designs being big hits if anyone ever picks them up and puts them into production. The popsicle mold that makes Han Solo in carbonite would create a cool galactic treat on a hot summer day. Mmm, carbonite.