Star Wars condoms keep your saber covered

If you're a Jedi of the love arts, you just might want to check out "Saber Skins," a line of condoms featuring messages from Darth Vader and Yoda.

Michael Franco
Freelancer Michael Franco writes about the serious and silly sides of science and technology for CNET and other pixel and paper pubs. He's kept his fingers on the keyboard while owning a B&B in Amish country, managing an eco-resort in the Caribbean, sweating in Singapore, and rehydrating (with beer, of course) in Prague. E-mail Michael.
Michael Franco
2 min read
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If Anakin Skywalker had one of these all those years ago, who knows what might have been?

Graphic Armor

Want to avoid the pitter-patter of little padawans? Condoms called Saber Skins let you sheath your lightsaber the Star Wars way.

The condoms, made by Graphic Armor, a company that specializes in custom-made condoms, feature quotes such as "No, I am your father," famously spoken by Darth Vader to Luke Skywalker in "The Empire Strikes Back," and Yoda's admonition to Luke: "Try not! Do, or do not. There is no try."

Frankly, I'm surprised they didn't make a third version with another of Vader's famous quotes: "The Force is strong with this one."

While it might seem a little absurd that Star Wars branding has now extended to condoms, it makes sense when you consider how central the Vader/Luke plot line is to the entire franchise -- starting with the secret wedding of Anakin Skywalker to Padmé Amidala on Naboo in 2002's "Attack of the Clones."

Just think. If Anakin had used protection, there never would have been a Leia or Luke; Leia would never have been captured by the Empire; and there would have been no need for "A New Hope." Whew! Good thing the drugstore on Naboo was out of condoms on their wedding night, eh?

Graphic Armor's other condoms lines include tie-dye and camouflage versions. But naturally, with "The Force Awakens" getting ready to debut, the Star Wars condoms, though they came out late last year, are the ones that caused a disturbance in my Force.

If you're a would-be Sith Lord not wanting to have a kid who might one day go all "light side of the Force on you," you can snag one of these condoms for $2.99 (about £1.97, AU$4). A three-pack lowers the price to $2.25 (about £1.50, AU$3) each, a dozen go for $1.99 (about £1.30, AU$2.70) each and -- if you're planning on really putting your Jedi master love skills to use -- 30 or more sell for $1.79 (about £1.20, AU$2.50)
each. Shipping is available worldwide.

Oh, and if you're not inclined to order any of these, you might still want to check out the comments section on the site. I'm not sure I'll ever think of carbonite the same way again.

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