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SOA isn't complex, you're dumb

First came Chuck Norris facts: "When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris...There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live."

Next, for those who believe a Counterpane security consultant has comparable clout to the kick-boxing movie star, came Bruce Schneier facts: "Bruce Schneier is not only the man-in-the-middle, he's at both ends and has wiretaps on Alice, Bob, Carol and Dave...When God needs a new secure certificate, he uses Bruce Schneier as the signing authority."

The next invincible entity: the service-oriented architecture, helpfully described on SOA Facts site.

For those who are having trouble figuring out how Web services, modular networked software components and enterprise service buses coalesce into a paradigm-shifting sea change, here are some pointers:

• SOA is not complex. You are just dumb.

• Larry Ellison once died in a terrible accident, but was quickly given SOA. He came back to life, built a multibillion-dollar software company, and now flies fighter jets.

• Guns don't kill people, the SOA WS-* stack kills people.

• One person successfully described SOA completely, and immediately died.

• J2EE can sometimes make a diamond from a lump of coal. SOA can make diamonds from air.