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Secret Service uses Twitter to find bike mechanic

It's not an easy job. It has demanding and critical clients. So where else but Twitter should the Secret Service look to find the perfect person to fix its bikes?

This could change your life in so many ways. If you're adroit with bikes, that is.

For the United States Secret Service needs someone to fix its Harley Davidsons. And it is reaching out to the coolerati on Twitter to find the perfect character. Perhaps the normal channels have brought up a string of duds. Perhaps, from Twitter's very public nature, there will emerge one fine bike mechanic who knows how to keep his mouth shut.

No, I cannot be sure the Service is in possession of Harleys. But I cannot be sure that it isn't. That's the fun of secrecy, isn't it?

Screenshot: Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

How do you know that the long-haired man you meet in a bar who starts chatting to you about his Harley and, say, shoe bombs might not be working to keep us safe?

So, given that there are so many finely tuned, technically minded, public-spirited, tight-lipped people reading these pages, I am publishing this job ad. For, if the right person happens to have first heard it here, this might reflect well on us all.

I am unconvinced that previous membership of the Hell's Angels will preclude you from having a chance. The job description declares that all U.S. citizens will be considered.

You will, of course, be wondering how much this fine job pays. Well, the pay ranges from $27.98 to $32.66 per hour. (Suspiciously particular numbers, those.)

I should warn you that the Service is very honest with respect to those who might wonder whether they could start as a bike mechanic and work their way up. Under the heading "Promotion Prospects," the Secret Service has written: "None."