I am about to make some of your wildest imaginings come to life.
Please don't deny you have them. We've known each other for a while, and I've read some of your comments.
You have deeper relationships with your gadgets than you do with your humans.
You talk to your shrinks about this. You tell them that, to you, your gadget is Snooki or Maria Bartiromo. Or, in your ultimate dream world, Scarlett Johansson.
Your wish has been sent to Hollywood, and here I present the command performance of Johansson playing a Siri with whom you'll fall in love.
Joaquin Phoenix already has, it seems. For this is the new Spike Jonze movie called "Her."
She is an operating system that is a little more advanced than iOS 7.
This is iOS Heaven.
This operating system is said to be "artificially intelligent." The truth is that it's the closest thing to an almost human being you've ever had coming out of your phone.
Yes, I'm counting the revelations of Tinder in that assessment.
This operating system is called Samantha. I think each expression of it has an individual name, just like Brazilian soccer players and lap dancers.
From what this trailer reveals, Samantha has a sense of humor, despite not having any ostensible feelings.
She looks through your e-mails to learn about you. I've had girlfriends do that, but this seems more entertaining.
There are some concepts with which she's not familiar. "How do you share your life with somebody?" she asks. "With difficulty," most human beings reply.
I have a feeling that Samantha is going to try to come between Phoenix and Amy Adams. I worry that she will turn Glenn Close and boil a virtual bunny on Joaquin's FarmVille estate.
"I've never loved anyone the way I love you," Phoenix says.
Who do you imagine he's talking to?
I have tears in my eyes already. I feel you do too.
Would you like to me call someone for you? Or would you just like me to sit with you awhile and listen?