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Accept Chocolate on Demand

Pointlessness in a box.

A present! For me! From Salesforce!
Caroline McCarthy/CNET Networks

It's a well-known fact among those of us in the tech industry that Salesforce loves to package free chocolate--and sometimes other swag along with its press kits. It's kind of notorious. So when I saw today that Salesforce sent me a package (despite the fact that my beat of social media, pool toys, and The Colbert Report has nothing to do with customer relations management) my immediate reaction was "Hey, chocolate!"

I don't see any chocolate! This is bad! Caroline McCarthy/CNET Networks

So I opened up the package, and to my dismay, I saw some kind of strange white box instead of shiny foil wrappers. CRIPES! A Salesforce missive without chocolate? That's criminal. And disturbing.

Whew! My chocolate is here! Caroline McCarthy/CNET Networks

Ah, but thankfully, the chocolates were just underneath. They weren't massive S-shaped candies like the last Salesforce press package I'd received, but they still looked pretty yummy.

Success on demand? More like chocolate on demand! Caroline McCarthy/CNET Networks

And inside the box was...a 128MB USB drive, presumably containing a couple of press releases. I suppose it's good that they're saving paper, right?

I can has Salesforce chocolate?

So I plugged the press kit into my computer and opened it up, wondering if there was anything noteworthy on it. Turns out it was about the company's recent partnership with Google. Talk about Monday's news. I guess that's what happens when you snail-mail things. They really could have just saved on the packaging and e-mailed me the press release, and saved on the calories and skipped the chocolate.. Regardless, this is still an improvement from when they shipped me a rather large box that contained a single folder with a paper press kit and three giant S-shaped chocolates wrapped in the same red foil.

But that's okay, because there was chocolate!

This post has been brought to you by the letters F, R, I, D, A, and Y.