So perhaps it's appropriate that a New Jersey man chose a piece of toasted Wonder Bread as a canvas for the runaway bride's portrait, now selling for more than $16,000 on the auction Web site eBay.
While 48-year-old Perry Lonzello reportedly carved the Georgia bride's likeness into the toast and posted it as a joke, his artwork has been making some serious bread. Lonzello, who has been keeping a log of the resulting toast frenzy on the eBay listing, said he plans to donate the money to charity.
As of noon Pacific Time Saturday, 116 bids had been made on the toast, with a top bid of $16,100. The week-long auction started at $1 and closes Sunday morning.
Lonzello's called the auction item "Jennifer Wilbanks found on my morning breakfast toast."
"I still think her fiance did it," he continued in his description. "This is the one and only toast depicting the scam artist of the year, Jennifer Wilbanks. Look at the eyes, it's her. Don't be fooled by others."
Those commenting on the auction item couldn't help but be, well, "punny."
"No matter how you slice it, I think what you are doing is crummy," one respondent wrote. "I don't mean to sound stale but you should try to do more with your time besides loafing off at your computer."
One of the interested bidders, Lonzello said, appears to be GoldenPalace.com, which earlier this week for $5,001, the Associated Press reported Wednesday. Golden Palace's other recent acquisitions include a grilled-cheese sandwich that purportedly resembles the Virgin Mary's face and a Doritos chip that looks like the pope's hat.
A knock-off piece of runaway bride toast has also been posted and is going for just $19.99. But it doesn't have any bidders yet. Someone else has posted a runaway bride sticker with the description, "I just want to enjoy this ride."
Wilbanks disappeared for three days last week, shortly before her scheduled 600-guest wedding, triggering a nationwide search. Family and friends said they were afraid she was the victim of foul play. In the end, Wilbanks said she had run away on her own, fleeing by bus to Las Vegas and eventually to Albuquerque, N.M.