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Paris Hilton sings about the dangers of drunk texting

For reasons that must go far beyond the boundaries of conventional art, Paris Hilton creates a music video that seems to warn people of the dangers of texting while inebriated. It also warns of Twitter's dangers too.

Screenshot: Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

Perhaps, like me, your troubled sense of self-worth has been caused by following Paris Hilton's cultural moves too closely.

The iconic heiress seemed once to put the eyes and the tease into "zeitgeist." Now she teeters on the brink of something closer to evanescence.

I am grateful to Mashable, therefore, for discovering this extraordinary music video in which La Hilton suddenly becomes every teenage girl's mom. For in it she accesses her inner Serge Gainsbourg and talks of the dangers of texting while drunk.

The lyrics drift beyond literature into a chasm of ethereal splendor.

Hilton moans of her drunk texts symbolizing "desperate clauses of random intent." She goes on to describe an awful, terrible experience caused by silly, mindless drunken thumb-action.

Suddenly, she offers: "No one is safe in the Twittersphere anymore." But, Paris, if you won't save us, who will?

Returning to her theme of drunk sexting, Hilton insists that "the words just don't make sense." What does, these days?

"It's a hot mess of misspelled obscenities, body parts, and run-on questions," she explains. I think she is still referring to drunk sexting, rather than life in general.

Who, though, cannot admire this new, mature, even moralizing Paris Hilton? She has finally taken on the responsibility of warning young people of the dangers inherent in sipping too much vodka and then texting "D46"-- or the even more troubling "GYPO."

I see parents all around the world drawing attention to this--perhaps her magnum (in the artistic sense)--opus.