7 Exercise Tips How to Stream 'Rabbit Hole' Roblox's AI Efforts 9 Household Items You're Not Cleaning Enough Better Sound on FaceTime Calls 'X-Ray Vision' for AR 9 Signs You Need Glasses When Your Tax Refund Will Arrive
Want CNET to notify you of price drops and the latest stories?
No, thank you
Accept

Optimus Prime's car insurance bill

What's the overhead on that business of saving mankind from evil?

In our steadfast effort to cover all things technologically urgent and culturally important, e.g. the Transformers movie, here is the latest development.

On Monday, McSweeney's, the Web publishing arm of San Francisco author and famous eccentric Dave Eggers, published "A Letter to Optimus Prime from his Geico Auto Insurance Agent," penned by John Frank Weaver. It details the particulars of 27 claims made during the month of June and the parameters of coverage and "reasonable use" for a truck and trailer.

You have to read the original for the riotously strained legalese and in-depth accident reports, but here's the clincher:

"Geico has been unable to reimburse you for any repairs, but due to the high number of accidents you have been a party to this month, combined with the many accidents you have had in the preceding five months, your premium has increased to $235,567.50 per month. While that may seem like a lot, I remind you that it is a savings of $137 over Progressive and $98 over State Farm. Please have your check into our main office by the end of July."