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Not at a store near you: Repulsive Armor Iron Man

Custom-painted to memorialize the lowest point in the life of Tony Stark, the Repulsive Armor Iron Man action figure features modifications that only those obsessed with bodily functions could love.

This customized Iron Man figure sure doesn't have an iron stomach.
Jin Saotome

Just in time for next month's Iron Man action and CGI cinematic extravaganza comes this one-of-a-kind, custom-modded Iron Man action figure from Jin Saotome. Painted to resemble Tony Stark's gadget-obsessed hero after a serious bender, and based on a Marvel Movie Legends Iron Man figure, the alcohol-poisoned hero doesn't come with a Great White Telephone from which he can call Ralph.

It does, however, come with several miniature beer cans and a mini bottle of Bacardi that dear, dear Tony Stark probably swiped from a Paris Hilton Barbie. Painted in all the hues of the contents of your stomach after trying to prove you're a drinking superhero, the green, yellow, and orange figure is up for auction on eBay and was commanding more than $100 at the time of writing.

Besides a wicked hangover and dribbles of stomach acid leaking from his mouth, the figure features 28 points of articulation. He probably needs all of them to keep himself upright, too. The auction also comes with an 8.5-inch-by-11-inch drawing of the inebriated Iron Man in flight from Web comic writer and artist David Willis.

Hopefully, this figure will be popular and Saotome will do a Wayne Family Meets Joe Chill box set for July's Batman movie.