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New Microsoft ad aims knife at Google's jugular

New video attempts to accuse Google of Googlighting. Should you be unfamiliar with this term, it allegedly means an ad agency selling productivity software in its spare time.

Screenshot: Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

There is little lovelier than large corporations accusing each other of sleaziness.

One of the current spats for spiritual superiority involves Microsoft targeting Google for being a low-down, sniveling operator that works around privacy settings just for the sheer evil of it.

Redmond seems to be warming to its knife-skills. For it has just released a long ad, accusing Google of Googlighting.

Yes, this advertising company dares to sell enterprise software to unsuspecting businesses who then are caught in Google's endless need to change that software and leave businesses in a dizzy tizzy.

This rather poorly made specimen of a film is a stylistic follow-up to Microsoft's "GMail Man" video, one in which Google was presented as someone whom no one at the country club would dare to like.

In this Googlighting film, we can delight in a lady business owner saying to the Google Apps salesman: "You want us to be your lab rats?"

This is, of course, a question that is both naive and redundant. We are all Google's lab rats and we mostly delight in the experience, being too ignorant to imagine we might have a choice.

Why it should suddenly be a novelty might be beyond sentient beings.

However, Google is surely miscast as this rather greasy, slick man in a white suit and multicolored tie. The problem is that he's so venal, so crude and so ill-dressed. This is deeply inauthentic, as we know that senior Google employees are dapper and sometimes wear cashmere sweaters.

Still, as Microsoft grapples toward higher moral ground, I am sure that some will enjoy this rather crude (even if somewhat believable) retelling of Google's underbelly.

Microsoft, on its own blog, declares that "Google Apps accounts for merely 0.5% of the ad company's revenue."

Some might wonder why, in that case, Microsoft needs to bash it.

However, Redmond concedes: "The folks at Google are smart. Without any experience in developing business tools, they rebranded their consumer e-mail and embedded it with a few web applications, and 'Voila!' there was a 'business' offering."

A further stab is taken into the Google's solar plex(us) with these words: "We store your data only for your use, while Google reserves the right to use your data."

Which tech company can you trust these days? Could the answer be none?