New Droid TV spot happily rips Apple

In the first advertising for Verizon's Droid antiphone, the iPhone's shortcomings are displayed, with rather sweet, jolly, Applesque music as background.

Chris Matyszczyk
2 min read

There I was watching the Yankees suck yet another victory from the very duodenum of defeat, when along came a rather sweet Apple TV spot.

You know, music that makes you glad your lungs function even after a night on the tequila, and a white background with a soothing typeface telling you some simple things that Apple will do to make you even happier.

Then I put down my cup of green tea (Decaf, naturally. Only way to watch the Yankees) and realized that this was a rather vicious list of the iPhone's alleged shortcomings: the inability to run simultaneous apps, for example. And the lack of 5-megapixel imagery.

I still wasn't quite convinced that this wasn't Apple with a cheery punchline. But no, this was somebody throwing a nasty right cross at Cupertino's double chin.

For there was the line "iDon't allow open development." Closely followed by "iDon't have interchangeable batteries."

Well, goodness, this was somebody who had sauntered into the temple and tossed curse words toward the altar.

I realized this just as the ad ground to a slightly freaky halt and the words told me "Everything iDon't...Droid Does."

Please forgive me if I didn't immediately realize that Droid was a phone rather than yet another awful horror/zombie/paranormal movie/video game/TV series.

However, I am told that this little tease (as one calls it in the persuasion trade) is the precursor for the imminent launch of Verizon's Droid antiphone, a sort of sane lover after you've been through a few rather colorful ones.

I have no idea what this Droid thing will look like. Although perhaps it would be a positive step if it had a pointy head, nasty little eyes and spoke to you in extra-terrestrial tones.

However, I am pleased that someone has taken the trouble to produce an ad that seems to offer a little hope for anyone whose delicate self-image would urge them to be seen with something other than an iPhone.

There are more of them out there than you would ever believe.