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Nest: Everyone loves our products (except kids, dogs and old people)

In a series of new ads, the very smart company suggests that only the supposedly progressive will truly love its wares.

Grandpa doesn't like the Nest thermostat. Does he have a good reason not to? Nest/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

I know that the technological future, in which all things are Interneted, will be a wonderful thing.

Well, at least, this is what I'm told.

Sometimes, though, doubts creep upon me like police cars in my rearview mirror. Won't this all-connected world make me feel stifled, neurotic and just a touch paranoid?

Thankfully, some new ads from Nest were posted to YouTube yesterday to enhance my doubts. They're humorous little things, but they also sniff a touch that those who don't get the Internet of Things just, well, don't get it.

Here's a grandpa who really doesn't like the Nest thermostat.

"My grandkids bought this Nest Learning Thermostat. Programs itself, connects to their precious phones," he explains.

He adds: "Being cold builds character. Walking back and forth to the thermostat builds leg muscles."

Then there's a little boy. He's a clever little boy. He says he "enjoys general destruction in the abstract sense." He doesn't like Nest because its Dropcam means that his parents can always, always keep an eye on him.

Dogs don't like Nest products either, especially intellectual ones. The one in Nest's ad can talk. He also enjoys being destructive, as so many intellectuals do. Ergo, he's not a fan of the Dropcam either. It's a "buzzkill."

You can see where Nest is going with all this. The Internet of Things is about surveillance, but only of those who are destructive, either intellectually or physically. It's an argument surely endorsed by the NSA.

Yet it's the fourth ad, one that attempts to anticipate the more troubling side of Nest, that alerts you to the neurotic possibilities.

Here we have a man, youthful and progressive of course, who is so in love with his Nest that he just can't help checking it every minute. Or 30 seconds. Or five seconds. Not only does his Nest check for smoke, but carbon monoxide emissions too.

"You can never be too safe," he explains. True, life tosses balls of risk at us as if we're coconuts at the fair.

But if there's one thing I know about my phone already, it's that I severely dislike myself for checking it so often. If now I have one, two or even more reasons to check it, will this make me happier?

Excuse me, I must go. I just had a Twitter notification.