Sometimes I worry.
I worry that at the bottom of the fiscal cliff is another fiscal cliff.
I worry that my future wife who currently won't acknowledge me will only, in fact, acknowledge me when I have another future wife.
And I worry that social media experts have all the expertise of a Labrador offering a lecture series on the cat-mouse conflict.
It's not merely that "Saturday Night Live" and the Onion (embedded here) have offered bitingly believable critiques of these self-appointed gurus.
It's that I have before my eyes the results of a survey of social media experts conducted by SocialToaster, a company that insists all bread should be warmed up in pairs.
SocialToaster surveyed 3,000 of its SuperFans (yes, this company is really a social-marketing platform) and asked these "largely social media experts and professionals, many of whom work with some of the nation's leading brands" who were the most influential social media people of 2012.
These experts flexed their personal algorithms, consulted their cranial creativities and raised at least one wet finger to the skies.
Their conclusion was that Barack Obama was the most influential social media person of 2012.
Yes, he won. It must have been social media that made the difference. So he must have been the most influential.
You will be find yourself touching various parts of your anatomy and feeling nothing at all when I tell you that last in this fine survey came Mitt Romney. Yes, the man who lost.
What extraordinary insight these social media experts have. I wonder if, when it rains, their sure social media touch will declare that the majority of people are socially declaring that it's wet outside.
But we at Technically Incorrect like to dig deeper when it comes to surveys. There are always gems within.
Here, it's not that Madonna came second last in this survey, closely hounded by Sean Hannity. It's not that Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga were deemed the next most influential after the president.
It's that the very same survey concluded that, when it comes to social media, a post from a very close friend is likely to influence you most when you're pondering a deep and important issue.
The next most influential is a family member. Even well-known bloggers were said to hold considerable sway.
I know that, in your current fragile and contemplative state, you will never guess what groups of people were deemed the least influential. Why, it was a tie. Between athletes and, well, politicians.
Here are the conclusions from this very important survey: the most influential person in social media comes from the group of people deemed least influential in social media.
That'll be $200,000 please.