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Microsoft suspends 'Fort Gay' gamer

Presuming his location to be a pejorative slur, Microsoft suspends an Xbox Live gamer until the company discovers that Fort Gay, W. Va., is a very real place.

So many people use humor to get through their days and their dreary jobs, but sometimes people aren't joking.

I am sure there is often juvenile tittering when neophytes pass through Intercourse, Penn. Perhaps the same occurs with Fort Gay, W. Va., home to a 26-year-old gamer named Josh Moore.

Moore apparently wanted to show his Fort Gay pride. Indeed, he listed "fort gay WV" as his location in his Xbox Live profile.

Unfortunately, the Associated Press reports that, ever alert for the japes of wrath, Microsoft suspended Moore for what it assumed was a rather crude and pejorative slur.

''At first I thought, 'Wow, somebody's thinking I live in the gayest town in West Virginia or something.' I was mad. It makes me feel like they hate gay people," he told the AP.

Moore, who is unemployed and plays shooters using the nametag Joshanboo, tried to explain to Microsoft that Fort Gay is a real place, with real people and a real ZIP code: 25514. However, the Microsoft representative was having none of the Fort Gay talk.

The representative reportedly threatened him with draconian cancellation unless he removed any trace of his Fort Gayness.

Yes, there's even a Pocahontas Street Screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk

The mayor of Fort Gay got involved. WSAZ TV reported that Mayor David Thompson was told by Microsoft that it doesn't matter that the word "gay" is part of the city's name. It's a word that gets flagged. So there.

"I'm amazed that in this day and age they would flag the word 'gay,'" Thompson told WSAZ TV.

Perhaps you, too, aren't familiar with Fort Gay. It's around 800 strong and nestles as comfortably as it can on West Virginia's border with Kentucky. It's been around since 1789. And it's not even the only town in West Virginia that is adorned with the word "gay". Please bid a warm welcome to Mount Gay in Logan County and Gay in Jackson County.

I know that many of you will already be girding your fingers to write a heated e-mail of protest to Microsoft. Please withhold your enthusiasm.

The company has admitted that it erred. Stephen Toulouse, who enjoys the rather stern title of director of policy and enforcement for Xbox Live, told the AP: "Absolutely, a mistake was made here, and we've updated our training to account for that."

Fort Gay has been restored to the ramparts of Medal of Honor and Call of Duty. Moore will reportedly be receiving an apology and will be able to resume his battles across our great land with people of all political, sexual, and moral persuasions.