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Microsoft Monocles? Redmond to make its own Google Glass?

An analyst sends a note to the effect that Redmond will next year become Red-eye-mond. Can this possibly be anything but true?

2 min read
Can you imagine Steve Ballmer doing this? Noah Zerkin/Twitter With Permission

The world is moving very quickly.

And where it's moving very quickly to is a place where we'll all look quite ridiculous and talk seemingly to ourselves as we walk down the street.

This is the heaven envisioned by Google, with its fascinating Google Glass. Yes, the glasses that make people look like no one's idea of a dinner date on the subway.

Many questions have emerged since these glasses invaded the public gaze. "Should one ban people wearing them while driving?" was one question. "How will Newt Gingrich look when wearing them?" was another.

But perhaps the most pulsating question is this: Will Redmond become Red-eye-mond?

It is perhaps unsurprising that such a question became even more invasive today when Topeka Capital analyst Brian White wrote to investors and said that his eyes were positively twitching at the idea.

As Apple Insider sees it, White said that he expects Microsoft to release its own intelligent eyewear next year.

White is the same analyst who yesterday predicted that Apple's new TV would be controlled by a deeply engaging ring on your finger.

Perhaps he is on a roll. Perhaps he is on something else.

However, if Microsoft were to release its own conception of nose-wearable tech, how might it differ from Google's?

What might Redmond's relatively poorly-paid engineers be able to conjure?

Might Microsoft Monocles integrate with XBox, so that you could walk down the street and destroy bad people with the flick of an eye?

Might the company get together with Tom Ford or Issey Miyake to create the most tasteful, beautiful, Monocles the world could ever imagine?

Might Bill Gates again become the marketing frontman for the company and wear his Monocles wherever he goes?

I have contacted Microsoft to see if the company will divulge its monocular plans.

By the way, Microsoft, I am in the throes of registering that Monocles name. So if you want it, you know where to find me.