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Microsoft gets mom to get nasty about Chromebooks

Microsoft might want you to think it's a forward-thinking company. But it's acting toward Google as if it's a cheating ex-spouse

She doesn't like Chromebooks.
Microsoft/YouTube Screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

So remember that company that made you cry at the Super Bowl?

No, not Heinz with its farting joke. Microsoft, with its high-minded, moving ad about empowerment.

Well, forget about that.

Despite the Super Bowl trophy having been secured by its co-founder, Microsoft greeted Monday with bile and spittle aimed at its favorite target. Well, its current favorite target -- Google.

The Chromebook to Microsoft is what the 49ers are to the Seahawks: this object of loathing, akin to a cheating ex-spouse or a conman who just removed your trousers without you noticing.

Microsoft has been casting derision at Chromebooks for some time. These things are Googley and Scroogley. Honestly.

The latest attempt sees a fine American mom who wouldn't hurt a fly.

However, she'd take a Chromebook and throw it through her neighbor's window with nary a thought about insurance.

This particular ad is the latest in a series that begins with the word "honestly" -- as if all previous Microsoft advertising had been somehow dishonest.

Anyway, this mother would like you to know that she has the thoughtfully-named Asus X200CA with Windows. This honestly gives her kids everything they need.

Not like Chromebooks, which don't let you install Office. I wonder why that might be.

And mom's Asus doesn't need pesky things like the Internet to get things done. "So no more fighting," is her breezy hope.

Well, yes, except for this bellicose ad.

There are various theories about how well Chromebooks are doing and why Microsoft has decided that they are the waste product of Beelzebub.

However, Redmond will not rest until it has taken every last Chromebook to the woodshed and pummeled it into pulp.

Honestly, Microsoft. I liked you so much better on Sunday.