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Tech mattress company hires Woz and springs an iPhone-like ad

Commentary: Claiming that its mattresses are full of tech, Mattress Firm hired Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak to launch its new idea at a company meeting.

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.

Yes, really. That's a mattress.

Mattress Firm/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

If I asked you how a mattress is like an iPhone, I fancy you'd say: "Let me count the ways."

Before, that is, you said: "Have you been drinking?"

The people behind mattress chain Mattress Firm, however, believe that its products should be sold just like the bedrock of Apple's business.

Last week the company not only emitted ads that look remarkably like iPhone ads, but even hired Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak to launch its new idea at a company meeting.

Apparently, a mattress gives you "Technology To Power Off." Because, of course, everything is about technology these days, so sleep must be too.

In one ad, the Beautyrest Black Hybrid 1 floats in the air just like an iPhone. Oh, look, it's shaped just like an iPhone. It even has individually pocketed coils. Doesn't the iPhone have those too? Or was that just when you had to make sure you were holding it right?

But you can never take a strained analogy too far. Here's another ad that claims to offer "the most important tech reveal of 2017."

Yes, it's the Serta iComfort TempTouch. You mean you didn't know? It has a -- are you ready? -- revolutionary cooling technology. Does your iPhone 7 Plus even have that? It's practically magic.

Of course, the aim here is to make mattresses seem like highly sophisticated products, so that you will be prepared to pay far more money for them. After all, I hear you might even be prepared to pay $1,000 for the iPhone 8.

Perhaps you'll look at these ads and be moved to tears by something you see as a clever homage.

Or perhaps you'll sniff that you wish Mattress Firm had bothered to make its own bed and lie in it, rather than lamely piggyback on a design icon.

Perhaps, though, we should be grateful that the tagline here isn't "Sleep Different."

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