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Marvel Comics investigated by Russia as 'propaganda of violence'

Russian authorities are launching an investigation into the appalling example proliferated by Captain America and friends.

Do they look violent to you? Marvel/Facebook

When you're a law-abiding, flower-empowering, peace-loving nation such as Russia, it must be hard to look over your oceans and witness the battle-crazy stares of foreigners.

I am not specifically referring to Sarah Palin here. No, I am making a much broader, more intellectual allusion to the idea that the West peddles aggression, whereas Russia only wants us all to get along. Especially in the Ukraine.

Perhaps that's why the Russians have taken up arms against Marvel Comics.

As the Moscow Times reports, Roskomnadzor, Russia's media watchpuppy, is investigating Captain America, Spiderman, and their chums. The crime of which these supposed defenders of freedom are accused? Why, being "propaganda of violence."

One can surely see their point. All these Avenger types fall into combat of one sort or another at the mere stroke of a pencil.

Worse, as expressed by the original complainant -- a distributor called Rospechat -- these supposed superheroes are constantly eking their aggression out upon villains who look remarkably like Russians. They're promoting "violence and cruelty," says Rospechat.

The Russian legal information agency RAPSI says that there is likely a specific reason for this action. It's all about the Winter Guard, a bunch of Russia-based superheroes. It contains a character called Vanguard. He has a hammer and sickle on his breastplate.

Worse, this dialogue is uttered: "We are servicemen for the Russian Federation."

Even worse, Marvel's own site makes it clear that his real name is Nikolai Krylenko and his alias is Great Beast. Worser than worse, he joined the "KGB-sponsored Soviet Super-Soldiers." You'll also be stunned to hear that he's a "staunch communist."

How can this be? How can such propaganda be placed before the vulnerable eyes of Russian children? Surely, their belief in the Russian essences of peace and love cannot be threatened by such blatant American mind-twisting?

I fear another Cold War may break out. The Cold Comic War.

Vanguard, the bellicose communist. Marvel