Want CNET to notify you of price drops and the latest stories?

Louis C.K.'s negative feelings about cell phones. All his negative feelings.

Technically Incorrect: Someone decided to string together all of the great comedian's most heartfelt diatribes against phones. And it's beautiful.

2 min read

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.

He's right about phones. So very right. CARLO ALLEGRI/Reuters/Corbis

As modern existentialist philosophers go, Louis C.K. is surely among the best.

He says the things that many think but dare not utter. He doesn't gloss over life's essential gruesomeness. He confronts it, declares it and even wallows in it on occasion.

For reasons that are unclear, someone decided to string together all Louis' feelings about cell phones. The result is quite beautiful, in an apocalyptic way. These feelings come from his own show and from his appearance on Conan O'Brien's talk show.

Looked at as a totality, they show how much our phones have taken us over and how much we just don't care about that.

This is because we're the worst sort of primitive beasts: The sort that think we're clever.

Louis C.K. describes how the phone became this thing that is an appendage to our being.

Worse, it's wasted on us, because we really aren't the greatest or even the second-greatest generation (yes of course he describes just how great, or not, a generation we are more graphically.)

He worries about the sheer inanity of instant messaging. "I have this friend," he says. "He has a phone that can IM, it can instant message and so now I really want him to die."

And then he explains why he tries not to give his kids phones, just because all the kids have them. He wasn't going to leave out texting-and-driving either, a plague without end.

Of course, we're never going to change. The gadgets have already won and we will slowly become, well, gadgets ourselves.

At least our decline will be recorded by our contemporary poets and philosophers.