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It's sometimes hard to remember that the British once lorded it over America.
The two countries are so very different now.
Well, the East Coast still has a few British quirks -- bad soccer teams, for example -- but the West Coast and Britain are like very different cousins, seventeen times removed.
HBO comedian John Oliver, a Brit, decided to remind Americans what they missed out on after booting the Brits back to rule Britannia.
So he posted a video in honor of Independence Day that's already racked up more than 650,000 YouTube views since it went live on Sunday.
What has America given up? Beautiful vowel sounds, says Oliver.
The American accent can seem unremittingly harsh at times. "You speak like you just burned your tongue on a hot apple pie," says Oliver.
Whereas the Brits can say the most frightful things in such a delightfully plummy way that you believe they're telling you something rather nice. (Disclosure: I have a British accent.)
At heart, though, the biggest thing Americans are missing out on is deep-seated British pessimism. "Americans are optimistic people who believe the sky is the limit. Whereas in Britain, we are painfully aware of our limits. In fact, just look at the British sky itself. Even the sun is incapable of asserting itself there," he says.
So as your fireworks soar toward the heavens, remember that if you'd remained British you might now be turning your back on your neighbors or insisting that foreigners are complete undesirables.