What kind of holiday season will you have? Maybe it will be filled with tinsel, caroling, fruitcake and colorful string lights. Or maybe it will involve devil-horns hand signals and 13-minute musical epics about cursed sea birds. If the latter is the case, then you will want an official Iron Maiden ugly Christmas sweater from apparel purveyor Middle of Beyond.
We've seen many a hideous sweater in our time, from a be-tentacled Cthulhu sweater to a "Doctor Who" Weeping Angels jumper, but the Iron Maiden version leaves them all cowering in a corner. It features a prominent image of the heavy-metal band's rotting mascot, Eddie, aka Eddie the Head. Eddie looks more at home in a graveyard than sipping mulled cider beside a fireplace.
Repeating motifs of devil heads, 666 inscriptions, chains and hatchets hammer home the heaviness of your apparel choice. The face-melting garment is made from acrylic and costs $84.99 (about £69, AU$110).
The ugly Christmas sweater has risen from holiday eyesore to hip fashion statement, but it is now time to claim it for the leather-jacket-wearing, fist-pumping, guitar-riffing heavy-metal crowd. As the band says in "Iron Maiden": "Oh well, wherever, wherever you are, Iron Maiden's gonna get you, no matter how far."