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In new iPhone 7 ad, Apple wants you to express yourself better

Technically Incorrect: Texting is so old. Look what you can now do on your iPhone 7: Send each other balloons.

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.

Those balloons make all the difference.

Apple/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

Texting's existed for, like, ever, right?

It's old, it's tired, it's so cold.

Some have said the same about the iPhone 7. But Apple wants you to feel the warmth inside.

In a new ad, the company encourages you to express yourself in a far more, well, expressive way.

No, it doesn't want you to use the word "ducking" more often when you're angry. Nor does it want you to stoop to exhibitionism when you're excited.

It merely wants you to use the new effects that come with iOS 10.

Did you know that when you send an iMessage that says "Happy Birthday," it floods the recipient's screen with balloons and their eyes with tears?

So here we see a balloon emerging from a lonely farmhouse. It's joined by more balloons as it flies toward the city and across it.

To where are they flying? Do they belong to one of the clowns that've been scaring America witless?

No, these are magical balloons. They know where they're going. Just like the poor woman stuck to her desk in some high building.

When they arrive to enthrall her, the effect is special. It's also practical.

After all, "practically magic" is the iPhone 7's new tagline. One must assume that the sender in the farmhouse must be staying there for practical reasons -- milking, perhaps -- but wants the women to know she's special. Well, a little special.

This is all charmingly done. Who cannot appreciate the idea that a few balloons on a screen can make someone's day?

I suspect not many know about these magical effects. You can also send rockets, confetti, fireworks or a shooting star.

I cannot confirm that Apple will shortly allow you to send green slime, red ants and a boa constrictor.

Surely practical magic can't just stick to a world of nice, can it?