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How to never ever ever get a date again: neckwear edition

Scarf holds your iPod, BlackBerry, keys, wallet, etc. Dorky.


I know how it is. You're really, really, ridiculously good-looking, aren't you? And you seemingly can't stop the influx of people who are desperate to provide you with their cell phone numbers? Doesn't it get a little annoying?

Don't worry. There are lots of things that you can do to ensure that you never score another date again. One of them is to fill your bed with pillows shaped like Mac Dashboard icons. And here's another novel idea: you can walk around with a utility scarf around your neck. As seen on The Bachelor Guy, the Xubaz scarf comes with four pockets. It can hold your cash, your iPod (better pump up that Weird Al), your cell phone--you name it. Sure, it might free up your pockets, but it'll also make you look like a tool and a half. Yeah, it's even worse than sticking your BlackBerry in a belt holster.

So if you have a problem with that "most eligible bachelor" (or bachelorette) status, look no further. With the Xubaz scarf, you'll be relegated to the dregs of dorkdom--you know, people who are addicted to World of Warcraft AND own every Star Trek DVD in existence AND have page-a-day Dilbert calendars--in no time.