Go boldly and smell like James T. Kirk

I was unaware that there is a company that specializes in licensed science fiction jewelry and perfumes.

Until I discovered the Planet Genki.

Genki Wear, a company with copious imagination, would like you to know that, in complete coincidence with an impending new Star Trek movie, it is launching three bold new fragrances especially for the more mature Trekkie.

First there's Tiberius, which has a very fetching image of a younger Priceline spokesperson on its packaging. Now I hope no one will be writing in to ask why this, of all perfumes, is called Tiberius.

So let's move straight along to the hard sell. Tiberius cologne is, apparently, "difficult to define and impossible to refuse." It smells nothing like any cast member of "Boston Legal." But it will have the desired effect on anyone with universal tendencies.

Then we have Red Shirt. Now Red Shirt is clearly for those Trekkies who live for the moment. Its tagline is "Because Tomorrow May Never Come." And as you wander into your night club, or comic book convention, you can feel confident that women are looking at you because your smell honors the sacrifices of the nameless crew of the USS Enterprise.

But perhaps the boldest of the range is Pon Farr. Many of you will remember Pon Farr. This is the mating ritual favored by Spock and other Vulcans in an episode called "Amok Time."

Now the thing about Pon Farr is that the Vulcan men only went into heat every seven years. So I am not sure how long a bottle of this stuff might last. My best guess is that Pon Farr is targeted at the ladies, as it appears to promise to "drive him wild", and specifically at the ladies who prefer to have sex only once every seven years.

Genki believes that these fragrances can challenge the best that the likes of Cartier and Chanel can toss at the universe. Oddly, however, there appears to be a small movement that objects to these smells.

However, with enterprise such as Genki's, I am hoping that these products will be a massive success.

Because then we might look forward to colognes redolent of "Grey's Anatomy","Prison Break" and, who knows, "Top Chef".