Get mom a life-size 3D-printed replica of yourself for Mother's Day
Nothing says "I love you" like dumping an obscene amount of money on a Groupon so you don't actually have to spend any real time with your mother.
Mother's Day is coming on Sunday, May 8. I'm taking my mom on a historic house tour followed by a pub lunch and later a home-cooked dinner. Not everybody likes spending that much time with the person who birthed you. That's why deals site Groupon is offering to make a life-size 3D-printed replica of you to send to your long-suffering mother.
The limited-time offer is only available for a couple days. Here's the nutshell description: "With this life-size 3D-printed model, your mom can celebrate Mother's Day by spending time with an object that looks exactly like you."
The price for an inanimate doppelganger is $30,000, which includes shipping and handling to the continental US. Potential buyers must call Groupon directly to purchase the deal. A 3D scan of your entire body is required to redeem the offer. The printing is supposed to be handled by SWIGRO, a distributor of BigRep ONE large-scale 3D printers.
This sounds like a big joke. However, Groupon's Facebook page says, "The greatest Mother's Day gift a child can give is no joke!" The same Facebook comment thread about the offer also gives us this gem of a response from Groupon: "The eyes follow you around the room, too -- because Mom deserves the best!"
This isn't the first time Groupon has trolled the Internet in the name of Mother's Day. Last year, the company offered to send a surrogate "kid" to spend time with mom in your place for a mere $25,000. This year's deal is more expensive, but it's also a gift that keeps on giving. Your 3D-printed model can fill in for birthdays, your weird cousin's wedding, other holidays and family reunions.
Groupon is pretty flexible about the final product. It says it's willing to make a 3D-printed George Clooney, so long as you can convince the real George Clooney to stand still in a 3D scanner to create the blueprint. And let's be honest about this. Who do you think your mom would rather hang out with on Mother's Day: you or Clooney? Clooney wins every time.