Game of Thrones season 8 episode 1: The 6 funniest lines

Sure, Westeros is packed with death and destruction, but there are also a few good laughs.

Gael Cooper
CNET editor Gael Fashingbauer Cooper, a journalist and pop-culture junkie, is co-author of "Whatever Happened to Pudding Pops? The Lost Toys, Tastes and Trends of the '70s and '80s," as well as "The Totally Sweet '90s." She's been a journalist since 1989, working at Mpls.St.Paul Magazine, Twin Cities Sidewalk, the Minneapolis Star Tribune, and NBC News Digital. She's Gen X in birthdate, word and deed. If Marathon candy bars ever come back, she'll be first in line.
Expertise Breaking news, entertainment, lifestyle, travel, food, shopping and deals, product reviews, money and finance, video games, pets, history, books, technology history, and generational studies Credentials
  • Co-author of two Gen X pop-culture encyclopedia for Penguin Books. Won "Headline Writer of the Year"​ award for 2017, 2014 and 2013 from the American Copy Editors Society. Won first place in headline writing from the 2013 Society for Features Journalism.
Gael Cooper

He drinks and he knows things, and he delivers some of the best lines in Game of Thrones.


Game of Thrones is back, and so are the witty lines that help make the HBO fantasy hit such a deliciously quotable show.

Here's our spoiler-filled show recap, but if you just want the best lines, read on. Oh Tyrion, we've missed you and your one-liners. (Spoilers, of course.)

1. That took cojones
Varys: You take great offense at dwarf jokes, but love telling eunuch jokes. Why is that?
Tyrion: Because I have balls, and you don't.

2. Something borrowed, something bloody
Last time we spoke was at Joffrey's wedding. Miserable affair.
It had its moments.

3. Order more Purina Dragon Chow
Sansa: What do dragons eat, anyway?
Daenerys: Whatever they want.

4. Rolling snake eyes
Euron, explaining why some soldiers died in transit: They cheated at dice. Or maybe I cheated. Someone cheated.

5. A certain a-peel
Varys: The Karstarks.
Tyrion: One of the better sigils. Beats an onion anyway. (Davos, the Onion Knight, is RIGHT THERE.)

6. Ride of his life
Jon: What if (Rhaegal the dragon) doesn't want me to (ride him)?
Daenerys: Then I've enjoyed your company, Jon Snow.

Game of Thrones stars, from season 1 through today

See all photos