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Churches resort to using GPS, in case baby Jesus is stolen

A security company is giving out free GPS devices, so that no one steals figurines from nativity scenes in places of worship.

Thou shalt not steal.
NBC News Screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

It's Christmas.

The time of year when we all love our fellow human a little more. The time of year when we consider the spiritual aspects of our lives (or their lack).

And the time of year when people steal baby Jesus figurines from nativity scenes in churches.

As MyFoxDC reports, a security company has leaped to the rescue of churches frustrated that their Jesus, Mary, or Joseph are taken by the unscrupulous.

Brickhouse Security is giving free GPS trackers to all qualifying churches in order to prevent such an unholy occurrence.


The trackers are inserted into the figurines.

Should any holy figure go walkabout, Brickhouse sends an alert to the church.

It's unclear what happens after that. It would, though, be quite a scene for someone to get a knock on their door and witness a man in a cassock uttering the words: "I've come to take Jesus back." Or even: "You're under celestial arrest."

There's something quite pitiful in the idea that people would go to a place of worship and be tempted by a holy figure.

It's as if they have no notion of "Thou shalt not steal." Or even of "You're in a church. Kneel, pray, and give."

MyFoxDC focused on figurines being stolen in New Jersey. However, NBC News discovered that this might be a nationwide phenomenon. Churches in Illinois are also using GPS trackers.

"Two of the Wise Men disappeared and ended up at Four Lakes Ski Resort," explained the Rev. George Smith of St. Mark's Episcopal Church in Glen Ellyn, Ill..

It may well be that the Wise Men had never seen snow. But one suspects that someone encouraged them to go on the trip.

"Of course God knows where they are, but now maybe we have a better chance to know as well," Smith explained.

If measures such as this have to be taken, it suggests that the moral decrepitude of society is accelerating.

What next, GPS trackers on the church silver?

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