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CelluBike for your 'problem areas'

When cellulite becomes an obsession

Another high school reunion is just around the corner. After the last one, you vowed to do whatever it takes to rid your body of the scourge of modern physiology: cellulite. Desperate times call for desperate measures--so enter the "CelluBike."

We honestly have no idea what to make of this monstrosity. It looks like some kind of futuristic flight simulator or MRI chamber. As we understand it, you peddle the bicycle while a "certified technician" points a bunch of infrared lights at your "problem areas." Then, according to its Web site, thermal energy "penetrates the surface of the skin up to 1.5 inches and warms and softens the hardened cellulite." (Is anyone else getting grossed out by this?) Supposedly, the bad stuff just melts away as you continue to pump furiously.

Forgive us for asking, but is a gym that difficult to use?