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BBC blocks live linkup with aliens, scared they might curse

British TV presenter Professor Brian Cox reveals that the BBC blocked his idea of a live attempt to contact aliens, as they might say something naughty on the air.

The professor
BBC/YouTube Screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

I am sure you'd watch. I am sure your kids would be fascinated.

And yet, it is not to be. The BBC will not be doing a live show in which scientists try to talk to aliens.

You might be wondering why this would be.

Thankfully, Professor Brian Cox, a celebrated particle physicist and TV presenter (and former member of the band D:Ream), revealed that Britain's most august news source was a little scared of the kind of news it would make.

As the Daily Mail reports it, Cox wanted to point a radio telescope at Threapleton Holmes D, a planet that had been discovered by amateurs on his show.

You never know. The occupants of Threapleton Holmes D might be big fans of his show and wish to contribute.

Ah, but the BBC pooh-poohed it. Cox (I have embedded a clip of him describing a science conversation with Kate Moss) declared in a radio interview with BBC Radio 6 that the producers cited health and safety regulations.

This is BBC-speak for worrying what the aliens might say. They might swear. They might declare that the British Prime Minister was really from the Planet Kobo. It might cause panic in the streets, swoons on the stock markets.

The Mail, naturally, wanted the BBC's official words on the subject of this monstrous revelation.

A spokesman told the Mail: "In making the series there were many lighthearted conversations, one of which was about how different organizations might react to the discovery of alien life."

But of course. They were just kidding around.

However, anyone who has wandered along the hallways of the BBC will suspect that the bureaucracy at the Beeb (as it is locally known) simply wouldn't be able to stand the strain.