One of the first presentations at SXSW was called "The Sexual Survival Guide for Geeks." Apparently, geek sex is different.
For some at the South by Southwest Interactive Festival (SXSW), the goal is funding. For others, it is networking. But some seek some other lasting and uplifting joys.
While there will, no doubt, be many fine presentations that will stimulate tech minds to reach for higher goals, one of the first wanted to stimulate tech minds about something important for many attendees--stimulating tech bodies.
Violet Blue, who seems to be something of an expert on all things sexual, yesterday offered a practical guide to geek sex.
I wasn't aware there was anything different about technologically obsessed carnality. However, Blue felt the uncontrollable urge to offer her (s)expert perspective in a talk called "The Sexual Survival Guide for Geeks."
Blue seems to believe that flirting with those of geeky tendencies is different from, well, a normal variety. She believes she has tips to share with attendees so that, as she told CNN, "they know what's up with getting their pants off at SXSW."
It's hard to believe that anyone at a conference needs hints in order to consummate their flirtatious desires. It's even harder to imagine that there is a need for a presentation on the subject.
However, Blue offered this fundamental observation of geek sexuality to CNN: "Geeks tend to read signals not the way that other people read signals."
The idea seems to be that your average technophile has no idea when his technophilia has become attractive to a member of his target sex. It appears that he needs an emotional cattle prod in order to bring his face and senses away from his iPhone screen.
Therefore, Blue offered attention grabbing suggestions for conversation starters, such as: "Mac or PC, or both? Come to think of it, that 'sounds a little dirty.'"
Another suggestion, that might seem obvious to those with a human pulse, was that, post hookup, you shouldn't head straight for your Twitter feed in order to announce what a fine time you had--and with whom.
It does seem faintly distressing that such helpful hints have to be offered. One would have imagined that with such a dense concentration of the geek population currently in Austin, Texas, the rules of engagement would already be clear to all.
As I understand it, everyone gets terribly tipsy, avoids any semblance of small talk, eschews romantic nuance and simple attempts to negotiate the appropriate location for liaison, rather than its rationale.
It is my sincere hope that someone will be totting up whether certain gadgets make people more attractive. After all, last year, dating site OkCupid came to the devastating conclusion that iPhone grippers have more sex than Android clutchers.
Wouldn't it be lovely if Blue had researchers out there who can prove or disprove these important findings?