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Apple says iPhone 7 video is as good as a movie camera

Technically Incorrect: In a new ad, Cupertino encourages you to direct the movie of your kids' lives.

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.

The proud auteur.

Apple/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

Becoming a star means everything to your children.

How else are they going to make any money when robots do almost everything else?

Moreover, being a star allows you to say anything you want to anyone you want. Just ask Kanye.

Apple believes it has now developed the perfect way for you to begin your child's ascent to movie stardom. It's called the iPhone 7 Plus.

I know this because Cupertino has just released an ad that suggests this phone's video camera is just as good as anything they use in Hollywood.

We think, indeed, we're watching a movie. For some reason, the director has cast children to play Romeo and Juliet. Yes, little children, rather than the usual teeny starlets. This is art? This is the man who directed "Bugsy Malone"?

It turns out that the director is a mere parent. One of those frightfully annoying parents that hold their phones up all through the school play. For that's all this is.

But then the message from Apple: "Your movies look like movies."

It depends which movies you're talking about, perhaps. "Blair Witch Project"? Certainly. "The Grand Budapest Hotel"? Perhaps not.

Apple's rather into overclaiming of late. Why, it's just tried to convince you that the new MacBook Pro is at the very pinnacle of world ingenuity. Some might find this a SuperTrumpian exaggeration.

My colleague Stephen Shankland tested the iPhone 7 Plus against the Google Pixel XL and declared it inferior in terms of stills photography, but superior when it came to video.

But does it make Scorsese want to grab one and make an opus with it? I think you'd have to offer him a lot of money. And complete creative control, of course.