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Apple makes more iPhones than humans make babies

Apple moved over 37 million iPhones in the last three months of 2011, a higher rate of production than humanity's rate of reproduction.

Eric Mack Contributing Editor
Contributing editor Eric Mack covers space, science, climate change and all things futuristic. His encrypted email for tips is ericcmack@protonmail.com.
Eric Mack
Good Mama Diapers

Apple has been busier making and selling iPhones of late than all of humanity has been at getting busy.

The company smashed most expectations yesterday when it announced its iPhone sales for the last three months of 2011 totaled over 37 million units, a figure that exceeds the number of babies born on planet earth--using the global average daily birth rate --during a comparable period (about 98 days).

Digital design guru Luke Wroblewski first noted on Twitter that Apple has been more productive than humanity has been reproductive in recent months.

While Wroblewski's numbers seem a bit off based on the Apple and Wolfram Alpha figures cited above, the conclusion remains the same--if iPhones ever start feeding on human flesh (what I call the "Digital Walking Dead" scenario), we're in trouble.

Yes, the notion of zombie iPhones is a silly idea, but with the emergence of Siri, Apple's intelligent and snarky assistant, combined with Apple's rapid growth and my habit of drinking too many energy drinks after dinner, it certainly made for some vivid nightmares last night.

The benefits of population control aside, perhaps it's time to make a new commitment, just in case iOS turns out to be SkyNet--no more iPhones in bed, people! Let's save that area for other... activities.