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Apple incites weeping (with new ad about onions)

Technically Incorrect: Coinciding with its quarterly results, Apple releases an iPhone 6S spot, featuring Neil Patrick Harris, all about our favorite weep-inducing vegetable.

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.


And all because one little girl had an iPhone 6S.

Apple; YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

If you are a die-hard Apple fanperson, there might currently be a tear in your eye.

Apple's quarterly results dipped like a willow in the wind.

I get a sense the company knew this was going to happen. So, to prepare you, it's just released an iPhone 6S ad all about onions.

It's a cheery little thing that might still bring a tear to your eye by the end.

It's about a teenage girl with an iPhone 6S.

She's clearly a teenage girl of some means. She's also a teenage girl of some artistry.

She uses her phone to make a little movie. It features her mom chopping onions. It's all shot in glorious close-up.

It's so good that even her big brother likes it.

Her big brother has connections. Soon, everyone is raving about this art house, Bauhaus, mom's house movie.

Soon it's making people cry even harder than Apple's second-quarter results.

People are moved by the poignancy. They're moved by the artistry. They're moved so much that the inevitable happens: Our teenage filmmaker gets to meet Neil Patrick Harris.

This little thing is lovingly done -- I mean the ad, not Harris. The iPhone 6S isn't a terribly important phone, yet here is Apple doing as much as it can to make the phone's 4K video exciting and appealing to real human beings.

I feel sure that teenage girls everywhere will be pestering mom and dad for one immediately.

Failing that, new Apple fanperson Taylor Swift will surely adorn Apple Music with a new track called "Peel Back The Onion-Layers of My Heart."