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Apple gets Siri and John Malkovich to have a meeting of minds

In two really quite amusing ads, Siri and John Malkovich interact on something of an astral plane.

Apple Screenshot: Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

John Malkovich is one of the world's more prominent Croats. Oh, alright, he was born in Illinois. But he performs regularly in Dubrovnik and his Croatian blood oozes through his personality like the finest Dalmatian wine oozes through my blood whenever I'm there.

So who better, in the midst of the deep sadness of Siri allegedly being banned by IBM, to defend her honor?

In two new Apple ads, Malkovich teaches Siri just what it is to be John Malkovich.

In the first, he jokes with Siri about Portuguese sausage. At least that's what I think he does.

In the second, he asks Siri to muse with him about life.

"Try and be nice to people" Siri begins. "Avoid getting fat. Read a good book every now and then. Get some walking in. And try to live in harmony with people of all creeds and nations."

Yes, she really says that. Because Siri is deep. And meaningful. And looking for a seat on the Security Council at the United Nations.

These ads have a certain irresistibility about them, rising far above the last rather mundanely Hollywood efforts featuring Samuel L. Jackson and Zooey Deschanel.

Malkovich is cerebral, you see. So is Siri. That's what you need to know. Siri is like Google, but with a sense of humor.