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Apple bans selfie sticks from its developer confab

Technically Incorrect: In its rules and regulations for this year's Worldwide Developer Conference, Apple insists that the world's latest annoying gadget is verboten.

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.

Not at an Apple conference, gentlemen. Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

If you're going to keep up your image at an Apple Worldwide Developers Conference, you have to expose all your gadgets.

You walk into the auditorium and flash what is, in essence, the nerd gang sign.

"Look at me, I have an Apple Watch," will undoubtedly be this year's de rigueur symbol. However, one gadget that won't be welcome is the one in which so many currently glory: the selfie stick.

Apple has made clear that if you walk onto its WWDC turf brandishing one of those things, you'll be placed in a corner, forced to wear an Android T-shirt reading "Be Together, I'm Ashamed," and pelted with dry balls of kale from the buffet.

I have embellished those details a fraction. However, Apple's WWDC rules do state definitively: "You may not use selfie sticks or similar monopods within Moscone West or Yerba Buena Gardens."

This is, quite naturally, in the section called "No Photography, Smoking, or Soliciting." It seems that selfie sticks may be just as dangerous as cancer sticks. Or perhaps they might just solicit excess and even aggressive derision.

Please imagine how ugly the atmosphere would be if a thousand developers all sat in their seats, their extensions protruding over the heads of those in front. Please imagine the aesthetic disaster this would create -- and not merely from all the selfies that would be immediately posted to the world, bringing the local Wi-Fi to a halt.

Ultimately, this must be a decision based on style. As many places of culture around the world -- the Smithsonian Museum, for example -- have already shown, selfie sticks and class don't make for a happy relationship.

Those of jaundiced entrails will wonder, though, whether Apple might spring a surprise and launch its own iStick. This would be a white contraption that replaces the fingernail on your thumb. You would raise your thumb and out would shoot your stick.

I have already declared the selfie stick to be Beelzebub's revenge for being forced to live somewhere so hot that cameras melt. I am therefore delighted at Apple's decision.

Organizations with taste at their core really do think different.

Coincidentally, at a developer event earlier this year Facebook gave away selfie sticks.

(Via Business Insider)