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A giant wooden penis statue in Germany has gone missing

As the mountain giveth, the mountain taketh away.

The statue once stood at attention overlooking Kempten, Bavaria.
Photo by Karl-Josef Hildenbrand/picture alliance via Getty Images

If all the hubbub over the monoliths in Utah, Romania and California aren't scratching your "mysterious large phallic object" itch, perhaps the mystery of Germany's giant wooden penis statue will.

The 6-foot statue, which first appeared without warning a few years ago on the very tip of Grünten mountain, has mysteriously vanished, according to local paper Allgaeuer Zeitung.

Yet despite the police's involvement in investigating the disappearance, they're puzzled over whether it actually constitutes a crime. Given that the statue's owner and builder is unknown, there is technically no victim. 

"We don't know whether it is a criminal offence or not," police spokesman Holger Stabik told Allgaeuer Zeitung. "Every possible clue is being investigated – but so far there are none."

According to Mashable, all that's currently standing on the statue's prominent peak is "a stump, sawdust and lingering mystery."

Nevertheless, given the statue's fame (it's even been designated a cultural monument by Google Maps), the investigation will continue until the 200kg wooden penis is located.