"The CNET Astrology Report"
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The CNET Astrology Report
>> Welcome to the CNET Astrology Report. I am the
mystical Altair. I will use my knowledge of the stars,
their emotions, and the command line to bring you advise
on your idiot lifestyle. Oh, Aries, you really need a
smart phone. I know you don't like your older sister,
but she's right. Get the Pearl. Taurus. Quit the P to
P. You won't get sued, but it's killing your PC's
performance. Shut it off. [Inaudible] -- check that
Web-feed again, Gemini. See, it's actually more
expensive than a regular [Inaudible]. Ha. Cancer.
Yes, a new TV is in the stars for you. But don't rush.
Wait for a sale. Leo. Check your Spam filters because
important e-mail is getting lost in there, my friend.
Virgo. You can come across as pleasant and charming if
you just stop typing in all caps! I know grandpa needs
a new PC, Libra, but he will be fine with your friend's
old one, and it will save you money. Scorpio. You, a
dark room, and Quicken. I see great things. Oh yeah,
Sagittarius, let me put aside your worries. There is no
Nigerian prince. It's okay. Capricorn. Check the
circulars. You can get a huge external hard drive for
very cheap. Aquarius. Before you quote Wikipedia, find
a second source. You'll thank me, [Inaudible] and
social networking is going to do great things for you,
Pisces, just make sure to include your significant
other, hmm? That's all for now, and that's enough, you
greedy tech people, you. Come back next time for
guidance from beyond.
>> Altair's mystical guidance is not based on actual
science or technical evaluation. And should not be
taken as guaranteed tech-buying advice. For that, go to
cnet.com, and read the reviews. Altair's not an actual
astrologer, nor is that actually Altair's name. Void
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