"Silicon Valley wants to fix your problems (with weird junk you don't need)"
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Silicon Valley wants to fix your problems (with weird junk you don't need)
In the future, everything's gonna be connected.
Your fridge will talk to your light bulbs and your doorbell will talk to your robot about the coffee machine.
Wait a minute, is Silicon Vallrey making your life easier or just making it a lot worse?
If you believe Silicon Valley, then the internet of things is the way of the future.
Sensors on everything.
A million devices all taking your most intimate and personal information, sorry user data, and sharing it with the cloud.
But do you really need an internet connection in your coffee table?
Silicon Valley is solving problems we didn't even know we had like giving us internet connected shoes that we absolutely 100% don't need.
Or personalized protien powder.
That's a real thing.
Or susbscription underwear.
Or subscription furniture.
Because that's right.
I really want my cushions buffering if I haven't paid my monthly bill.
But worst of all was JuicEro.
Don't even start me on JuicEro.
You don't remember JuicEro.
The $400 wifi connected fruit juicing machine that was gonna save everyone's lives.
With a fancy app and pretty bags of fruit.
Until we realized that it was just two plates squeezing togther giant ketchup sachets of grappy fruit chunks.
If you wanted a glass of juice, you could just squeeze the fruit out like a monkey.
You dont need another [UNKNOWN] bag to do the job for you.
That juice arrow.
Sometimes adding Wi-Fi and Bluetooth doesn't make things better.
Maybe Internet connected shoes aren't gonna solve all your problems.
And if you have to subscribe to your furniture, maybe your furniture isn't broken.
So you want a coffee in the morning?
[INAUDIBLE] You gotta sign into your coffee machine, remember the password to the milk, scan your subscription beans and sync your Bluetooth mug to your morning playlist.
Admit it, the internet of things is really just an internet of nightmares.
I'm Claire Reilly for CNET and you can never hack my sofa.
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