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Christmas Gift Guide

Changhong H2

Lenovo Phab 2 Pro

Kodak Ektra

OnePlus One, OnePlus 3, OnePlus 3...

Samsung Galaxy S7 Edge Olympic Games Limited Edition

ZTE Axon 7

LG K8 V

BlackBerry Priv

Samsung Galaxy S6 Edge+

Motorola Moto G

Yezz Billy 4.7

HTC One M8 Harman Kardon

ZTE Iconic Phablet

Panasonic Eluga

HTC Windows Phone 8X

HP Pre 3

Samsung Galaxy S 2, Epic 4G Touch

HTC ChaCha and HTC Salsa

LG Optimus Vu

Casio G'zOne...anything

Samsung :)

Samsung Messager

Cricket MSGM8 and TXTM8

LG Optimus Black

HTC One

LG Chocolate

Motorola Citrus

LG Fusic

For every stroke of phone-naming genius is a nomenclature flop. We round up the worst of the worst in our totally subjective list. Feel free to chime in with your favorite dud muffins.

Editors' note: This gallery was most recently updated January 19, 2017.

Caption by / Photo by Josh Miller/CNET

Calling your phone the Changhong H2 is the perfect way to help everyone forget what your phone actually does. In this case, that's using sensors to scan the caloric load of your lunch.

Caption by / Photo by Joshua Goldman/CNET

Like the Changhong H2, Lenovo's biggest problem with the Phab 2 Pro is hiding the phone's quite significant accomplishment -- it's the first phone with Google's Tango AR software onboard -- behind a ludicrously forgettable name.

Caption by / Photo by Josh Miller/CNET

Invoking the name of a previous Kodak camera makes to blatant a point with the Kodak Ektra phone. And even my autocorrect thinks it should be called the "Extra".

Caption by / Photo by Andrew Hoyle/CNET

One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish. Oh sure, there's nothing wrong with the OnePlus family name, except for the fact that a company called OnePlus has named its phones "One" and "2". Good one, guys.

Caption by / Photo by James Martin/CNET

Eight words. That's how long Samsung's preposterous name is for an Olympics-special phone. Realllly?! I bet company executives can't even say it 10 times slow.

Caption by / Photo by Josh Miller/CNET

It isn't the Axon name we take issue with, just the fact that ZTE skipped Axons 2 through 6 to arrive at 7. Come on guys, we know you're just trying to keep up with Samsung's Galaxy S7 and the iPhone 7.

Caption by / Photo by Josh Miller/CNET

LG K8 V -- whaaaat? The "V" may stand for Verizon, but this nonsense name just gives us a bad taste of alphabet soup.

Caption by / Photo by Verizon

BlackBerry's first Android phone, the Priv, is a smarmy amalgamation of "privilege" and "priv-ah-cy". This from a company that was charmingly known for most of its life as Research in Motion, so I guess we're not too surprised.

Caption by / Photo by CNET

Once again, Samsung has devised a perfectly good phone (really good, even!) with a tongue-twister name. Released alongside the Galaxy Note 5, we can't blame readers for stumbling over the Samsung Galaxy S6 Edge+ and calling it something like...the Note 6 Plus. Yes, this has really happened.

Caption by / Photo by Sarah Tew/CNET

The only issue with the Motorola Moto G is that there are currently three (or is it four?) that you can buy right now all with the same exact name. Some support LTE, others don't, but the main confusion comes from the fact that unless you've memorized the specs, you won't know which one your store or carrier is selling unless you dig a little deeper. Wouldn't Motorola Moto G3 be so much easier?

Caption by / Photo by Motorola

As if the name of this Miami-based phone-maker weren't pun-inducing enough, the Yezz Billy 4.7 closes the loop with the Billy series, a line of Windows phones named after -- yep, you guessed it -- Microsoft founder Bill Gates. Big sigh.

Caption by / Photo by Yezz

It's bad enough that the HTC One M8 Harman Kardon is an awkward, semi-rhyming mouthful you can barely spit out five times fast. Even more unfortunate? That this gorgeous audio-boosted flagship perfectly sets up a certain spoonerism any company would be smart to sidestep.

Caption by / Photo by Sarah Tew/CNET

It takes a certain kind of chutzpah to confidently and unironically name your ultralarge smartphone the ZTE Iconic Phablet -- particularly if it is anything other than the obvious and undisputed top of its class. That certainly isn't the case for this ho-hum midrange effort.

This marks the first time that any smartphone vendor has embraced the often-reviled portmanteau "phablet" in any official capacity. Luckily, US prepaid carrier Boost Mobile had the good sense to rename its version as the Boost Max.

Caption by / Photo by Josh Miller/CNET

2012's Panasonic Eluga was a pretty, middle-of-the-road Android handset sold overseas. But a clunky, meaningless name (what is an "eluga," anyway? And is that a hard "g" as in "beluga," or a soft one, "eluja"?) was almost as awkward as its inconvenient button placement.

Caption by / Photo by CBS Interactive

Talk about marking your territory. HTC essentially flipped Nokia the bird by dropping the name of Microsoft's operating system into the Windows Phone 8X. It would be like naming a handset the "Samsung Galaxy Android phone." HTC's bold-but-brief surge to displace Nokia as Microsoft's OS darling has proven ultimately ineffective, even more so in light of Microsoft's purchase of Nokia's hardware-making arm.

Caption by / Photo by Josh Miller/CNET

Its terribly rhyming tongue-twister of a name certainly isn't the reason why the HP Pre 3 never made it to the US. Instead, abysmal sales and mismanagement killed WebOS' chances in the mobile platform fight, ending the once-promising Pre line shortly after HP's disastrous purchase of Palm.

Caption by / Photo by HP

Officially the Samsung Galaxy S 2, Epic 4G Touch, Sprint's Galaxy S 2 variant claimed the dubious honor of having the most long-winded name in cell phone history. By the time it came out on shelves, Sprint had lopped off a few words, making it the much more manageable Samsung Epic 4G Touch. If only T-Mobile had followed suit with its Samsung Galaxy S Blaze 4G, we'd all have been a little happier.

Caption by / Photo by Sarah Tew/CNET

I'm not sure what would compel a smartphone company to name devices after popular Latin dances. Apparently, AT&T wasn't, either. The ChaCha, which was first introduced at Mobile World Congress in February 2011, blessedly became the HTC Status when it landed with the US carrier. Unfortunately, the device itself made a few ungraceful moves.

Caption by / Photo by Josh Miller/CNET

There's nothing wrong with calling a large-screen phone the LG Optimus Vu (or Vu 2), just so long as your audience mentally and instinctively pronounces it "view" instead of "voo." Verizon scuttled all linguistic ambiguity by titling its version the harmless, but vague, LG Intuition.

Caption by / Photo by Josh Miller/CNET

No, no, Casio. It's bad enough you have to use an apostrophe and en vogue capitalization in the name of this rugged phone line, but did you have to make it utterly (and awkwardly) unpronounceable as well? Case in point: the Casio G'zOne Commando 4G LTE. That's "jeez-WUN," if you were wondering.

Caption by / Photo by Josh Miller/CNET

That's not a joke; Samsung actually named a phone after an emoticon. The Samsung :) has been haunting us since the texting phone materialized in 2010 with its over-the-top cutesy alias. Vocalizing the symbol's real-world English counterpart, Smiley, isn't so hot, either.

Caption by / Photo by Josh Miller/CNET

Continuing a particularly disastrous stretch of Samsung product names, the Messager sent ripples of nails-on-a-chalkboard cringing through the entire CNET newsroom when it landed at MetroPCS in 2009. Messenger. E-N. Big difference.

Caption by / Photo by James Martin/CNET

Texting symbology was clearly having a moment when the text-heavy MSGM8 and TXTM8 leaped onto the scene -- a moment we can all be thankful has passed.

Caption by / Photo by Josh Miller/CNET

The flipside of being overly creative is not being imaginative enough. Such is the case with the blandly named LG Optimus Black. It might have been one thing if the phone were called something like the LG Optimus Neon, but how desperate do you have to be to shout out the most common phone color there is?

In the US at least, Sprint and its prepaid subsidiary Boost Mobile got it as the much more exciting-sounding LG Marquee. Whew.

Caption by / Photo by LG

HTC One what? I have no problem with this exceptionally well-tailored Android phone (which also comes in Smurf-tastic blue). Instead, it's the timing that stinks. Since it follows the similarly named HTC One X, One X+, One XL, One V, One VX, and One S series, "One" here sounds like the first half of a subbrand in need of a caboose. It doesn't help that the One Mini is yet another (scaled-back) model.

Caption by / Photo by Andrew Hoyle/CNET

I get it. This phone has a candy bar shape and smooth, liquid music qualities, hence the name. Yet anyone who could possibly consider naming a cell phone after a chocolate bar has no reverence for the good stuff. It may have been years since LG's multimodel Chocolate series enraged true lovers of confectionery goodness, but the blaspheming injustice -- and the letdown -- remain.

Caption by / Photo by Verizon

Another food-themed travesty, Motorola's Citrus was a fairly early Android handset. Was it as zesty as promised? Not by a long shot.

Caption by / Photo by Josh Miller/CNET

We had to reach wayyy back into the archives for this gem. Really, what does Fusic even mean? Perhaps a fusion of "music" with "fun?" "FM?" "WTF?" Either way, 2006's flip-top Fusic was nevertheless a totally serviceable early music phone for Sprint.

Caption by / Photo by LG
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