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How to insult people like a satanic systems architect

Mass Effect 3 burn

The jacket

Natural selection

Sick hat burn

Gilfoyle is not Dinesh

On the internet

Swipe-right burn

IPO burn

Princess code

'It's not magic, it's talent and sweat'

Transfer crack

Your shame is my paradise

'Minority Report' burn

Two-faced burn

'O.J., for short'

'I couldn't remember your mother's name.​'

Don't mess with his servers

Are you a fan of HBO's "Silicon Valley"? Perhaps you're just a cranky tech person who needs a good laugh from a sick burn. Either way, these quotes from our favorite fictional network engineer are here to help.

"While you were busy minoring in gender studies and singing a cappella at Sarah Lawrence, I was gaining root access to NSA servers. I was one click away from starting a second Iranian revolution."

Season 3 of "Silicon Valley" is released on DVD in the UK on 10 April

Published: / Caption: / Photo: HBO
1
of 18

How to insult people like a satanic systems architect

Mass Effect 3 burn

The jacket

Natural selection

Sick hat burn

Gilfoyle is not Dinesh

On the internet

Swipe-right burn

IPO burn

Princess code

'It's not magic, it's talent and sweat'

Transfer crack

Your shame is my paradise

'Minority Report' burn

Two-faced burn

'O.J., for short'

'I couldn't remember your mother's name.​'

Don't mess with his servers

"He's as pointless as Mass Effect 3's multiple endings. I mean, he's a completely useless appendage, and we all know it."

Published: / Caption: / Photo: HBO
2
of 18

How to insult people like a satanic systems architect

Mass Effect 3 burn

The jacket

Natural selection

Sick hat burn

Gilfoyle is not Dinesh

On the internet

Swipe-right burn

IPO burn

Princess code

'It's not magic, it's talent and sweat'

Transfer crack

Your shame is my paradise

'Minority Report' burn

Two-faced burn

'O.J., for short'

'I couldn't remember your mother's name.​'

Don't mess with his servers

"If my mother was naked and dead in the street, I would not cover her body with that jacket."

Published: / Caption: / Photo: HBO
3
of 18

How to insult people like a satanic systems architect

Mass Effect 3 burn

The jacket

Natural selection

Sick hat burn

Gilfoyle is not Dinesh

On the internet

Swipe-right burn

IPO burn

Princess code

'It's not magic, it's talent and sweat'

Transfer crack

Your shame is my paradise

'Minority Report' burn

Two-faced burn

'O.J., for short'

'I couldn't remember your mother's name.​'

Don't mess with his servers

"If you're the CEO of a company, and you're dumb enough to leave your log-in info on a Post-it note on your desk, while the people that you ripped off are physically in your office, it's not a hack. It's barely social engineering.

"It's more like natural selection."

Published: / Caption: / Photo: HBO
4
of 18

How to insult people like a satanic systems architect

Mass Effect 3 burn

The jacket

Natural selection

Sick hat burn

Gilfoyle is not Dinesh

On the internet

Swipe-right burn

IPO burn

Princess code

'It's not magic, it's talent and sweat'

Transfer crack

Your shame is my paradise

'Minority Report' burn

Two-faced burn

'O.J., for short'

'I couldn't remember your mother's name.​'

Don't mess with his servers

Dinesh: "Did you see that? She gave me her hat."

Gilfoyle: "Pretend you've seen a woman before."

Published: / Caption: / Photo: HBO
5
of 18

How to insult people like a satanic systems architect

Mass Effect 3 burn

The jacket

Natural selection

Sick hat burn

Gilfoyle is not Dinesh

On the internet

Swipe-right burn

IPO burn

Princess code

'It's not magic, it's talent and sweat'

Transfer crack

Your shame is my paradise

'Minority Report' burn

Two-faced burn

'O.J., for short'

'I couldn't remember your mother's name.​'

Don't mess with his servers

"I tried to make it slow. I really did. But I'm not Dinesh. It's very difficult for me to do sh---- work."

Published: / Caption: / Photo: HBO
6
of 18

How to insult people like a satanic systems architect

Mass Effect 3 burn

The jacket

Natural selection

Sick hat burn

Gilfoyle is not Dinesh

On the internet

Swipe-right burn

IPO burn

Princess code

'It's not magic, it's talent and sweat'

Transfer crack

Your shame is my paradise

'Minority Report' burn

Two-faced burn

'O.J., for short'

'I couldn't remember your mother's name.​'

Don't mess with his servers

"The internet -- heard of it? Transfers half a petabyte of data every minute. Do you have any idea how that happens?"

Published: / Caption: / Photo: HBO
7
of 18

How to insult people like a satanic systems architect

Mass Effect 3 burn

The jacket

Natural selection

Sick hat burn

Gilfoyle is not Dinesh

On the internet

Swipe-right burn

IPO burn

Princess code

'It's not magic, it's talent and sweat'

Transfer crack

Your shame is my paradise

'Minority Report' burn

Two-faced burn

'O.J., for short'

'I couldn't remember your mother's name.​'

Don't mess with his servers

Dinesh: "Look who just right-swiped me on Tinder. Karen. She's cute."

Gilfoyle: "Says here that she's looking for a man on the go. You don't 'go' anywhere."

Published: / Caption: / Photo: HBO
8
of 18

How to insult people like a satanic systems architect

Mass Effect 3 burn

The jacket

Natural selection

Sick hat burn

Gilfoyle is not Dinesh

On the internet

Swipe-right burn

IPO burn

Princess code

'It's not magic, it's talent and sweat'

Transfer crack

Your shame is my paradise

'Minority Report' burn

Two-faced burn

'O.J., for short'

'I couldn't remember your mother's name.​'

Don't mess with his servers

"If you worked half as hard on the platform as you do trying to ogle strange Slavic women, maybe our shares would finally be worth something."

Published: / Caption: / Photo: HBO
9
of 18

How to insult people like a satanic systems architect

Mass Effect 3 burn

The jacket

Natural selection

Sick hat burn

Gilfoyle is not Dinesh

On the internet

Swipe-right burn

IPO burn

Princess code

'It's not magic, it's talent and sweat'

Transfer crack

Your shame is my paradise

'Minority Report' burn

Two-faced burn

'O.J., for short'

'I couldn't remember your mother's name.​'

Don't mess with his servers

"Why don't you go inside and write some princess code? Leave the hardware up to us servants."

Published: / Caption: / Photo: HBO
10
of 18

How to insult people like a satanic systems architect

Mass Effect 3 burn

The jacket

Natural selection

Sick hat burn

Gilfoyle is not Dinesh

On the internet

Swipe-right burn

IPO burn

Princess code

'It's not magic, it's talent and sweat'

Transfer crack

Your shame is my paradise

'Minority Report' burn

Two-faced burn

'O.J., for short'

'I couldn't remember your mother's name.​'

Don't mess with his servers

"All those YouPorn ones and zeroes streaming directly to your sh---- little smartphone day after day, every dipsh-- who sh--- his pants if he can't get the new dubstep Skrillex remix in under 12 seconds? It's not magic, it's talent and sweat."

Published: / Caption: / Photo: HBO
11
of 18

How to insult people like a satanic systems architect

Mass Effect 3 burn

The jacket

Natural selection

Sick hat burn

Gilfoyle is not Dinesh

On the internet

Swipe-right burn

IPO burn

Princess code

'It's not magic, it's talent and sweat'

Transfer crack

Your shame is my paradise

'Minority Report' burn

Two-faced burn

'O.J., for short'

'I couldn't remember your mother's name.​'

Don't mess with his servers

"No one is cracking our transfer... not some rogue nuclear state, not Sk3wl of R00t. No one."

Published: / Caption: / Photo: HBO
12
of 18

How to insult people like a satanic systems architect

Mass Effect 3 burn

The jacket

Natural selection

Sick hat burn

Gilfoyle is not Dinesh

On the internet

Swipe-right burn

IPO burn

Princess code

'It's not magic, it's talent and sweat'

Transfer crack

Your shame is my paradise

'Minority Report' burn

Two-faced burn

'O.J., for short'

'I couldn't remember your mother's name.​'

Don't mess with his servers

"Let me put this in terms you'll understand: I'm like a suicide bomber of humiliation. I'm happy to go out as long as I take you with me. Your shame is my paradise."

Published: / Caption: / Photo: HBO
13
of 18

How to insult people like a satanic systems architect

Mass Effect 3 burn

The jacket

Natural selection

Sick hat burn

Gilfoyle is not Dinesh

On the internet

Swipe-right burn

IPO burn

Princess code

'It's not magic, it's talent and sweat'

Transfer crack

Your shame is my paradise

'Minority Report' burn

Two-faced burn

'O.J., for short'

'I couldn't remember your mother's name.​'

Don't mess with his servers

Dinesh: "This is amazing. I feel like I'm in 'Minority Report.'"

Gilfoyle: "And in reality, you're just a minority."

Published: / Caption: / Photo: HBO
14
of 18

How to insult people like a satanic systems architect

Mass Effect 3 burn

The jacket

Natural selection

Sick hat burn

Gilfoyle is not Dinesh

On the internet

Swipe-right burn

IPO burn

Princess code

'It's not magic, it's talent and sweat'

Transfer crack

Your shame is my paradise

'Minority Report' burn

Two-faced burn

'O.J., for short'

'I couldn't remember your mother's name.​'

Don't mess with his servers

Dinesh: "Well, I'm going to leave this room without saying goodbye to you."

Gilfoyle: "I'm sure you can find your way out with one of your two faces."

Published: / Caption: / Photo: HBO
15
of 18

How to insult people like a satanic systems architect

Mass Effect 3 burn

The jacket

Natural selection

Sick hat burn

Gilfoyle is not Dinesh

On the internet

Swipe-right burn

IPO burn

Princess code

'It's not magic, it's talent and sweat'

Transfer crack

Your shame is my paradise

'Minority Report' burn

Two-faced burn

'O.J., for short'

'I couldn't remember your mother's name.​'

Don't mess with his servers

Dinesh: "O.J., for short."

Gilfoyle: "You should be flattered. O.J. Simpson is one of the most recognizable people on the face of the planet."

Published: / Caption: / Photo: HBO
16
of 18

How to insult people like a satanic systems architect

Mass Effect 3 burn

The jacket

Natural selection

Sick hat burn

Gilfoyle is not Dinesh

On the internet

Swipe-right burn

IPO burn

Princess code

'It's not magic, it's talent and sweat'

Transfer crack

Your shame is my paradise

'Minority Report' burn

Two-faced burn

'O.J., for short'

'I couldn't remember your mother's name.​'

Don't mess with his servers

Dinesh: "Yeah, I still can't believe you gave the servers a man's name."

Gilfoyle: "Sorry, I couldn't remember your mother's name."

Published: / Caption: / Photo: HBO
17
of 18

How to insult people like a satanic systems architect

Mass Effect 3 burn

The jacket

Natural selection

Sick hat burn

Gilfoyle is not Dinesh

On the internet

Swipe-right burn

IPO burn

Princess code

'It's not magic, it's talent and sweat'

Transfer crack

Your shame is my paradise

'Minority Report' burn

Two-faced burn

'O.J., for short'

'I couldn't remember your mother's name.​'

Don't mess with his servers

"My servers could handle 10 times the traffic if they weren't busy apologizing for your sh-- codebase."

Published: / Caption: / Photo: HBO
18
of 18
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