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Will he or won't he iPhone 3G?

Is the Macalope buying it?

The Macalope is certain that you're sitting at home asking yourself, "I wonder if the Macalope's going to buy an iPhone 3G?"

Don't be embarrassed. It's OK. It's not unusual to wonder what a mythical creature who's part man, part antelope and part Mac would want in a phone.

Well, OK, maybe it is. But the horny one much prefers this kind of question to when you've called him late at night and asked what he's wearing.

Which is pretty stupid, really. What's he wearing? Come on. Fur. He's wearing fur. And nothing else. That much you can learn by picking up any good D&D bestiary.

But to answer the other question, no. He's not going to trot out and buy one on July 11th.

Sure, sure, the Macalope's said that about many an Apple product and then eventually succumbed to its siren's song (which is why the sirens are totally off his Christmas card list), but if you already have an iPhone, the first year of an iPhone 3G is going to set you back an additional $319 (the Macalope prefers to look at just the first year rather than the full two years of the contract since it's likely that another iPhone will be released a year from this one). Now, depending on your usage, that's pretty reasonable for faster data, GPS, better battery life and, let's face it, bragging rights to your superior powers of conspicuous consumption.

But the Macalope's usually not far from his trusty MacBook or a WiFi connection, so the speed gain isn't worth the additional cost to him. Reasonable adults can make their own decisions.

Description of Monday's announcements have ranged from a "Microsoft-esque" yawn-fest (tip o' the antlers to Danny Gorog via email) to Steve Jobs is your boyfriend now. Thurrott's piece is so tedious, inaccurate and bitter it's frankly too embarrassing to go through. The second piece goes a bit far even for the brown and furry one's tastes. While the Macalope thinks the iPhone 3G is a great evolutionary step for the product line and should -- with the added countries -- ensure Apple blows past the 10 million units mark and give it a nice share of that delicious market pie, even he doesn't think the iPhone 3G is enough to unseat Blackberry.

Again, it's good, but is it $319 better than an original iPhone with the 2.0 software? Your mileage may vary.