This the the problem with the Web.
Every Tom, Dick, and Harry thinks he can administer justice. Or, indeed, Justin.
I have barely been able to retain consciousness since it was announced that more than 100,000 people had signed a petition at Whitehouse.gov to remove one of America's great icons.
Alright, he's a Canadian, but Justin Bieber is, for better or worse, a symbol of our nation and our times.
He's tried to make us all happy, he's really tried. But even he cannot do that when he's barely old enough to drive a Lamborghini at high speed in the middle of the night. And, of course, when we're all so feckless, needy, and paranoid.
We have expected too much of him and now some of us refuse to accept the consequences of our greed.
On Friday, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney admitted that the White House was under pressure to make a decision on Bieber's fate and would make a decision "relatively soon."
As Politico reports, there was much laughter among the press when Carney was asked about the White House's response.
This reflects the sorry state of political journalism -- and, frankly, politics in our times.
When politicians such as Florida Rep. Trey Radel admit to buying cocaine, no one suggests they should be confined to their home state. Yet here we have a young man who -- unlike all politicians and political journalists -- has made more people sigh, swoon, rejoice, dance and, most importantly, Beliebe than any politico ever has.
And what of those more than 220,000 people who have signed the petition? Some surely thought they were being amusing. Others mounted 20-hand horses in the conviction that they could cast a star asunder.
But what's the point of sending him back to Canada? It's clear that this country operates surveillance upon its people just as the US does. So it's not as if Bieber will find safer haven there.
One wonders whether the singer is simply being harassed these days. As Fox News reports, his private plane was allegedly detained at Teterboro airport for the sole and strange reason that it smelled of pot.
Half the flights out of San Francisco have such an odor emanating from one passenger or another. Or is someone suggesting they have different standards in New Jersey?
Only Miley Cyrus seems to have empathy with Bieber's plight, as well as his flight. As she told Jay Leno on "The Tonight Show" on Thursday: "You've got a lot of money. Pay people to make sure you don't get in trouble and party at your house, buy a house, and add a club to it."
I am concerned that the White House may bend to the will of the trolls. I am also concerned that, should Bieber be sent on his way, this will be a presager of political life to come.
Soon, every citizen will have the power to constantly vote online about matters of import. Or export.
Soon, these online referendums will reflect whims that will cause lasting damage to our well-being and way of life. It's already happening on Twitter.
Who, then, will start an online petition to immediately make Justin Bieber an American citizen?