You've slipped stealthily into the dungeon in your quest to free your fellow villagers from the maws of a sharp-toothed, eyestalk-stocked Beholder. You strike at the beast. Roll damage! The die comes to a quivering stop. It says "You're a loser!" And the Beholder eats you. Game over.
This is what could happen if you try to use Pocket Pal's Pocket Donald d20, a die filled with Donald Trump statements.
The Pocket Donald includes such catchy utterances as "I beat China," "I'm never wrong," "Huge," "Get schlonged" and "Gotta build a wall!" "Now you can get unsolicited advice and commentary from a born leader whenever you need it," reads the Pocket Pal description. The chatty die sells for $10 (about £7, AU$14).
The die should be a big hit with fans of the parody Twitter account Dungeons & Donalds and its entertaining combination of politics and dungeon masters. Even if you don't buy a Pocket Donald, you can try it out online with a virtual version of the die. I just rolled a "It's not a rug!" I'm not sure if that means I win or I lose.