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The Rock: My Siri movie will dominate your Monday

Commentary: Dwayne Johnson says he's teamed with Apple to make "RockXSiri," and it'll be the "coolest, craziest, dopest" movie. Ever.

 Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.


Monsters and cars and so much excitement. You hope.

The Rock/Facebook

I'm so excited that I'm almost awake.

Dwayne Johnson, he who styles himself as The Rock of our ages, made a stunning announcement on social media on Sunday.

He declared -- both on Twitter and Facebook -- that he's starring in a new movie, entitled "RockXSiri. Dominate the Day," to be released on Monday. 

His co-star? Stunningly, it's Siri.

Apparently, Siri's agent -- not content with his client being the inspiration for the movie "Her" -- has landed her a role in which she actually gets a credit.

On Facebook, The Rock declared: "I partnered with #Apple to make the BIGGEST, COOLEST, CRAZIEST, DOPEST, MOST OVER THE TOP, FUNNEST (is that even a word?) movie ever." He uttered more or less the same understatements on Twitter.

Does he have your attention now?

This alleged movie is, according to The Rock, to debut on Apple's YouTube channel on Monday.

Is it, though, really a movie? Or might it be merely be more of a long ad to make you believe that Siri is truly a star? The latter, it seems (just ask Johnson himself.)

Some people, you see, think she's a little behind, say, Google's cerebral artificial assistant or even Amazon's slightly more utilitarian Alexa. 

Moreover, with the music-loving, Siri-powered Apple HomePod on the December horizon, anything that boosts Siri's image might be both welcome and strategic.

Apple didn't immediately respond to a request for comment.

Having dedicated my life to decoding -- and creating -- marketing nonsense, I descended upon these Facebooked words from The Rock: "I make movies for the world to enjoy and we also made this one to motivate you to get out there and get the job done."

What can "get the job done" possibly mean? It means, I fear, that Siri is going to help you in your work life, because she's actually so very clever. But what job? A bank job? A bank teller job? Hasn't the Rock heard that AI will put us all out of work?

Another clue is the "Dominate the Day" part. Siri will presumably take the loser that you currently are and turn you into a winner. 

But then there's the first part of the title: RockXSiri. You're going to tell me this is a love story, I'll bet.

Yes, one with monsters, planes and fast cars, as the movie poster suggests. 

So it's your average The Rock movie, apparently, but turned into an ad for Siri. Or perhaps it's also be the opening salvo in The Rock's rumored 2020 presidential campaign.

Vote The Rock-Siri and make America dominate the world's days again.

Technically Incorrect: Bringing you a fresh and irreverent take on tech.

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